


Matching Scars

by wintersxsoul



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Abusive Parents, Angst, Anxiety, Child Abandonment, Depression, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Eventual Smut, Everyone Needs A Hug, F/M, Fluff, Grief, How Do I Tag, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Insecurity, Jotun Loki, Loki Feels, Loki Needs a Hug, Odin (Marvel)'s Bad Parenting, Protective Frigga (Marvel), Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred, Steve Rogers Feels, Thor is a puppy, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Trust Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-17
Updated: 2018-10-10
Packaged: 2019-05-24 16:33:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 22,679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14958153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wintersxsoul/pseuds/wintersxsoul
Summary: "How could someone like you, love someone like me? It makes no fucking sense."





	1. Heavy Past

**Author's Note:**

  * For [aquaxbae](https://archiveofourown.org/users/aquaxbae/gifts).



> So this is my first fic ever. I hope you all like it and i just want to add that English is not my first language so if there's a mistake, I'm sorry qwejsdhgdfhdsvbh.

As Loki walked through the aisle, the only thing he could hear were his own thoughts and the chains he was wearing. He could feel a smile forming in his lips, but all he could think about was the condemn that awaited him at the end of that damn room.

He stood in front of Odin, all arrogant and proud, when suddenly, like a whisper, he heard his name from his mother's lips.

“Hello mother.- Loki looked at Frigga- Have I made you proud?”

 **“** Please, don't make this worse.” He could sense the fear and concern in his mother’s voice.

“Define worse.”

“Enough!” Odin cut the conversation promptly. “I will speak to the prisoner alone.” Frigga left the throne room and all he could do was stare at the only woman he ever truly loved with all his heart.

 

Sitting in his cell, Loki could not contain the tears at the thought that he would never see his mother again, he would even miss his witless oaf brother, Thor.

He spent his days in boredom and fearing that night would come, because every time he closed his eyes, he remembered the fear and pain inflicted by Thanos, the one who forced Loki to try to invade the Earth. One night, Loki woke up from one of his nightmares when he saw Frigga at the edge of the bed, looking at him with fond eyes and some feeling he couldn’t understand.

“Mother? Are you really here or is it just another trick?” Loki realized he spoke too harshly, but Frigga knew it was his pain speaking.

“Loki, I must get you out of here, your fa...Odin changed his mind and he no longer intends to keep you alive.” The woman sighed and kept speaking” I’ve already spoke to your brother and he’ll help us escape.”

Loki laughed, impassive at what he was listening to. “I’m not surprised by his lack of affection towards me, but this? Betraying your trust?” He looked at his mother with tears in his eyes. “Why?”

Frigga stood up, called the guard to open the cell and the rest happened too fast. She got Loki out of the cell and fought the guards that were on the dungeons, when suddenly someone hit his head so hard that he saw everything turn black.

When he was conscious again, they were outside, on a ship directed to Midgard.

 

* * *

 

 

“Hello, welcome to Starbucks, what would you like to order?” You hated this phrase with all your being, but there you were, after three long years. Your job as a librarian couldn’t pay all the bills, so taking another job seemed like a good idea. Guess who was wrong.

“Hello Y/N, how are you?” You were so sleep deprived you hadn’t realized who you were talking to.

“I’m so sorry ma’am, I-I didn’t see you. You want the usual?”

“We’ve talked about this, you can call me Frigga, darling. And yes please, the usual.” 

“A Featured Dark Roast going. I’ve missed you around, busy week?” Frigga was a regular, you knew her from the first day of work, so you kinda grew fond of each other. She always asked you about your work at the library and you usually took your break when she came in. It was your routine.

“I wanted to talk to you, because it has come to my knowledge that today is your birthday so, I brought you a small present!” She looked at you with such pure joy and fondness, you thought you were melting in your chair. She handed you the package already knowing what it contained.

“I can’t believe you’ve found such an old book and in such good condition! You are the best, thank you so much.” You said holding back your tears, you stood up and hugged her as tight as you could. She was the sweetest person you had ever met, but there was something very odd about her, something mysterious and even dark.

“It’s nothing Y/N, you’ve always been so kind to me and I’ll never be able to thank you enough for everything you’ve done for me, without realizing it. Especially listen to my complaints about my children.” You shook your head and, with tears running down your cheeks, you gave her the biggest smile you could.

 

When she left, you had only 2 hours left to finish your shift. You went straight to your apartment to enjoy your chinese food leftovers and your new book.

Your bosses already knew that you always asked to have two days off at work after the day of your birthday, so this year was not different. You really needed those days to ease your mind, because it was the hardest day of the year.

It was the day your “parents” abandoned you, when only 3 days old, at the door of an orphanage. You spent all your childhood and teenage years in foster homes, until you finally turned 21. You found the job at the library and the next year you started working at Starbucks. You were at a really dark place when you met Frigga, and after all those years, thanks to her, you felt loved. 

You took the book and admired the cover. You’d always loved Shakespeare and this book felt like it was made just for you. The cover was emerald green and the title, Shakespeare's Sonnets, was written in gold letters. You were crying again when you read the Sonnet 14, your favorite one, when a sudden knock at the door startled you.

 

Who could it be so late? You stood up, wiped your tears and with puffy eyes, you opened the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SONNET 14  
> Not from the stars do I my judgment pluck;  
> And yet methinks I have astronomy,  
> But not to tell of good or evil luck,  
> Of plagues, of dearths, or seasons' quality;  
> Nor can I fortune to brief minutes tell,  
> Pointing to each his thunder, rain and wind,  
> Or say with princes if it shall go well,  
> By oft predict that I in heaven find:  
> But from thine eyes my knowledge I derive,  
> And, constant stars, in them I read such art  
> As truth and beauty shall together thrive,  
> If from thyself to store thou wouldst convert;  
> Or else of thee this I prognosticate:  
> Thy end is truth's and beauty's doom and date.


	2. Dracula's Bathroom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things get a little steamy. Once again, English is not my first language so if there's any mistake i would love to know it!! Thank you so much for reading and enjoy!

“Y/N! You are alive!” Your friend Anne said with too much enthusiasm while throwing herself into your embrace. You haven't seen each other for a month because of your work schedules, and you wondered, for a second, what could have brought her to your front door so late without previous announcement, but realization sunk in. She has been your best friend for almost ten years and she knew everything you've been through, she was the closest thing you had to a relative. She was totally different from you, confident, extrovert, funny and carefree. Her bubbly personality was what made her so special to you.

 

“You really thought you were going to get rid of me so easily, uh?” You smirked, as you both went to lay on your sofa. You adored being with Anne, she was like a ray of sun in your storms, and she always knew how to soothe your massive breakdowns.

 

“Don’t be such a bummer, girl.” She said rolling her eyes.”By the way, I brought a present, and before you get started with your usual whining, open it.” She really intoxicated you with her excitement, and you complied. Anne was the type of friend that loved spending her own money in the ones she loved. Her gift was a special edition of Bram Stoker’s Dracula, your favorite movie. You couldn't recall how many times you've both seen this film, but at least once a month.

 

“Anne...I really don’t deserve to be your friend.” You hugged her and after a brief but affectionate hug, she went to the kitchen.

 

“Prepare everything, I’ll get the drinks and the popcorn.” 

 

* * *

 

You groaned at the sudden brightness of the morning. You couldn't remember when you fell asleep, but you did remember the amount of wine you drank, or at least that's what your hangover told you. Anne was strewn on the other end of the sofa sleeping soundly. You forced yourself to get up to prepare coffee and cut some fruit to eat.

 

The day went by without any incident. You had lunch at your favorite restaurant and then went back home. You were supposed to binge watch some tv show, but at the end decided to go grab some drinks.

 

The bar you went to had live music, so after being there for an hour, you started to feel overwhelmed by the amount of people that was there. You looked at Anne, who had been flirting with the bartender for a while, and told her you needed some fresh air.

 

“Okay, but don’t get lost!” She told you with her drunk voice and grinning cheerfully.

 

As you walked out the door, the chill air hit your face pleasantly and you felt your body relax. You hated being in crowded places, but you really needed the booze. 

 

You heard someone close the door behind you.

 

“Hey there, are you alone?” A husky voice asked you from behind. You turned around and you were faced with a tall handsome man. He had broad shoulders and he was smiling at you with perfect white teeth.

 

“Y-Yeah...No. I mean outside, yes, my friend is inside.” You sounded like it was the first time you spoke to a man. You were so smashed you didn't notice he closed the space that separated you.

“I’m Y/N” You told him while you placed your hand between the two of you to gain the personal space he took from you so abruptly. He stood back and shook your hand.

 

“I’m Evan.” He grinned and you felt your inner thigh twitch. You couldn’t tell if it was the alcohol or the lack of sexual activity. “It’s nice to meet you”

 

“Yeah, same” You said in a distracted tone. 

 

You were talking outside for about half an hour, when you both decided to go in and ask for another drink. You scanned the bar looking for Anne, when you saw her in a corner making out with the bartender. She really knew how to party.

 

After ordering the drinks, Evan cleared his throat and asked you something you could not hear because of the music.

 

"What have you said?" You asked him seductively approaching his ear.

 

"I said I don’t remember what we were talking about" He said looking at your lips.

 

"Oh, we were talking about how pretty I am" As soon as you said that, you regretted it. His hand landed on your knee and closed the little space that was left between you.

 

_ No _ . This was  _ not  _ happening. 

 

His hand started to slide up your thigh, and you copied his movements. And suddenly you were kissing, hungry and intense. He pulled you closer and you got lost in the kiss.

 

“Restroom. Now” You told him between panting. He looked at you with lustful eyes, asking if you were sure about it.

 

You took his hand and dragged him through the bar. You entered the bathroom devouring each other again, more passionate if it was possible.

 

He pushed you against the door, making you moan. You raised one leg to his hip, while he gave you wet kisses all over your neck, setting you on fire.

 

You put your hand inside his pants and took his erection while he moved you to the sink and sat you there. He was about to take off your panties when Anne and the bartender entered the bathroom, with the same intention as yours.

“Anne Marie!! What the actual fuck??” You shouted at your friend as you fixed your clothes and got on your feet. 

 

“I could say the same Y/N!” She cried dragging her lover out of the restroom.

 

“I really have to go. This was a mistake.” You looked at Evan with guilt in your eyes.

 

“Y/N I’m sorry...I shouldn’t- I just” You took his phone from his pocket and saved your contact. 

 

“It’s fine. Call me tomorrow if you want to.” You turned around and went after your drunk best friend.

  
  


* * *

 

Anne was a bit pissed at you because you forced her to go back home, but she knew you had no bad intentions. She would have felt guilty the next day. 

 

It was around 5 am, when a strong knock at your door woke you up. You looked through the peephole and couldn’t believe who was at your doorstep.

 

You breathed a couple of times to relax and opened the door.

 

“H-Hello...W-What can I do for you?” Cool, you made a fool of yourself. Were you dreaming? This was  **_NOT_ ** happening.

 

“Hello, I am Thor Odinson. I’m looking for Y/N, it’s urgent.” Wow, he was so handsome in real life you thought for a second you were going to faint.

 

“Yes, it’s me. Pl-Please come in.”  _ Girl get your shit together _ , you told yourself.

 

“Thank you.” He smiled at you but you sensed something was bothering him, because the smile never reached his eyes.


	3. First Encounters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy and thank you again for the support. It means a lot.
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING: The reader suffers an anxiety attack.

As happy and shocked as you were to have one of the Avengers at your house, you couldn’t stop asking yourself what was going on.

 

“You might be wondering why I’m here. I don’t have the exact words to communicate this without hurting your feelings.” You didn’t know what was happening, but his words were like a punch in the face. The air seemed too thick for you to inhale it.

 

He continued speaking, tears forming in his eyes, “my mother has been brutally murdered, a-and...she wanted me to tell you. Her last words were for you, Y/N.”

 

You weren’t understanding anything. You didn’t understand why Thor, a fucking god, was at your house crying over his mother's death. “I-I’m so sorry to hear that, but I-I never met or heard about your mother.”

 

“Oh, I’m sorry,” he stood up and looked at you right in the eyes “I thought you were the girl Frigga told me about, I-” You cut him off as soon as you heard the name you knew too well.

 

“Frigga?? Why would she...oh my god” Everything made sense at that exact moment. A knot formed in your throat and you began to sob. A million things started going through your head, memories and things you never told her. She was like a mother to you.

 

You felt your whole body shake, your vision went blurry and your knees failed you. Before you could hit the floor, Thor grabbed you and sat you on a chair.

 

“I know it’s a lot to take in but...wh-what can I do to help you?” His voice was a whisper now compared to your loud sobs and your erratic breathing. Thor’s face was pure concern and despair.

 

Anne emerged from the bedroom and froze as she saw who you were with.

 

“Y/N? Is everything- are you okay?” Thor introduced himself and explained the whole situation. Anne kneeled in front of you and placed her hand in your knee, trying to soothe your anxiety attack.

 

After five long minutes, your state wasn’t improving, on the contrary, you felt like you were dying.

 

“I’m taking her to the Avengers Headquarters. A doctor should see her.” Thor told Anne, she looked up at him and nodded. He took his phone and called someone. ”Pack some stuff for a few days for her, she’s staying with us. Stark’s orders.” 

 

* * *

  
  
  


ANNE’S POV

 

It took you less than ten minutes to arrive to the Avengers HQ, and as soon as the three of you stepped inside the building, doctors attended Y/N.

They told you to wait outside the room and after what seemed to be an eternity, someone approached you.

 

“Hey, you must be Anne Marie. I’m Steve Rogers.” Well, you were good, you were okay. Captain America knew your name, he spoke to you.  _ OH! MY! GOD! CAPTAIN AMERICA SPOKE TO YOU _ . A few seconds passed before you could do any kind of movement with your body. 

 

“Yes, I- I know who you are. I’m a huge fan.”  _ You shouldn't have said that _ . “I mean I, I know what you did for our country and that’s awesome.” He looked at you smiling widely and he seemed to be blushing.

 

_ You just made Captain America blush. Cool. _

 

Steve cleared his throat. “They told me to show you to your room, Y/N will be staying under medical observation and we will notify you when she is stable.” 

 

You took the elevator and when you arrived to your floor, after walking through a long aisle, Steve stood in front of a door that you guessed it was where you were staying,

 

“It was nice meeting you, Anne Marie, I hope to see you soon.”

 

“Anne” He looked at you confused. “You can call me Anne.” You smiled at him and entered the room.

 

_ What the hell, how could someone be so cute and hot at the same time? _

 

You showered and climbed to the bed. It was like lying in a pile of cotton. 

 

Before falling asleep, you started to think of the night you lived. You made out with a super hot bartender, met Thor and came to the Avengers Headquarters. You felt terribly sorry for your friend, it really hurt you seeing her in that state.

 

Your last thought before drifting off was Steve’s voice saying your name. 

 

* * *

 

 

You blinked quickly to try to adjust your eyes to the whiteness of the room you were in. The previous night was like a blur, but you remembered the important things, Thor's words repeating in your head again and again, making your heart ache. You started crying again and after a few minutes sobbing in silence, you heard two voices near the room and seconds later they knocked on the door.

 

"Come in" you sat on the bed to greet your guest. Thor opened the door with a wide smile and behind him came a tall man, dressed in a black suit, long black hair slicked back and an expression of rejection in his eyes. He looked familiar but you could not tell who he was.

 

"This is the pathetic mortal mother thought about before she died?" 

 

_ Mother? _

Oh my god, it was Thor's brother, the one who tried to invade New York six years ago. 

 

“Loki, please.” Thor snapped at him. Frigga told you about her sons, how sweet and caring they both were, but she always complained about the struggles her smaller son had always endured. Being adopted, rejected by his father, misunderstood and hated by everyone. You always understood Frigga’s words, because you suffered similar things all your childhood.

But this man? He was nothing like the boy she told you about. He was Loki, the God of Mischief, who tried to rule your planet.

 

“What is he doing here, Thor?” You said with rage. “Get him the hell out of the fucking room.”

 

Loki laughed at your words, and left the room. Thor approached to your side, standing next to the bed.

 

“I’m sorry, Y/N. He’s hurt and not thinking straight.” You nodded, not sure why. “How are you feeling? You really scared us.”

 

“I’m fine, my head hurts a little, but nothing new.” You smiled at him and he did the same.

 

“I’ll tell Rogers to bring Anne here, if you want her to come.” You didn’t understand why he was being so sweet to you. He could have left you in your apartment last night, but he didn’t. Why?

 

“Yes, please.” You reached out to take his hand as a gesture of gratitude. “Thank you for everything. I-I’m really sorry I caused a scene and forced you to bring me here. I should be the one comforting you.” You voice cracked as tears rolled down your cheeks once again.

 

“There’s nothing to be sorry for. Mother adored you, she talked about you with a very deep fondness.” He padded your hand with his free hand and kept talking. “I’ll find those responsible for this tragedy and I will make them pay.” You swallowed and tried to speak clearly.

 

“She is- Frigga was like a mother to me. I really loved her. She was so kind and always listened to my problems.”  _ Inhale, exhale.  _ ”She spoke to me a lot about her sons and how much she loved and cared for them. We were very lucky to have her in our lives.”

 

Thor looked at you, tears forming in his blue eyes, and smiled. “ It’s nice to speak to someone about this, Loki- he doesn’t want to speak about it.” He shook his head, trying to forget something.”I must go now.”

 

He left the room while speaking to someone on his phone and that’s the last thing you heard before falling asleep again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote Anne's POV because I'll write a two chapter spin-off(?) about what will happen with Steve *wink, wink*


	4. Sleeping Beauty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im awful at writing titles so forgive me. Hope you enjoy this chapter.

Your phone rang loudly enough to wake you up. You didn’t know how long you’ve been asleep, but as you opened your eyes, you realized that it was night. You scanned the room to see if there was someone there with you, as you could feel a presence. Empty. You reached the lamp on your nightstand and turn it on, when you saw the book Frigga gave you and a note on top of it:

 

_Dear pain in the ass,_

 

_I came to see you earlier and you were peacefully asleep, and despite knowing that you love my face, I couldn't bring myself to wake you up. I leave you the book so you're not too bored, I'll come in the morning to see you._

_With love,_

_Me._

 

You smiled at Anne's note and took your phone to see who called you. It was 10 PM, so you decided to return the call to the unknown number. No one answered. The second you left the phone on the nightstand again, a message popped up.

 

_Hey, Y/N. I’m Evan._

_I tried calling you a few times today but your phone was off or maybe you gave me the wrong number. I hope you didn’t._

_I was wondering if maybe you wanted to meet me tonight for a drink at the bar?_

_I’m already here with some friends, so I can’t receive or do phone calls._

_Let me know? :D_

 

 _FUCK_ . You totally forgot that you had a life. _OMG._ You had to work tomorrow. You jumped out of bed and rushed to the door. You saw a light at the end of the aisle, so you went, hoping you could talk to someone so they could take you back home. You stepped into a lab, with a lot of machine pieces and a lot of papers splattered in the floor. You heard a noise and you immediately turned around to see what happened.

Tony fucking Stark was before you, with a cup of coffee in his hand. He looked terribly tired. He closed the door and smiled at you.

 

“Hey kiddo, how are you?” He said in a friendly tone.

 

“I’ve been better, but good I guess. Thank you so much for everything Mr. Stark.” _Is it too much to ask for an autograph?_ You asked yourself, without needing an answer. It was too much.

 

“I guess you came here for a reason, and I’m sure it’s not for the small talk.” You rolled your eyes and grinned. “Well, you're talking to me, so I also understand that that's just the reason.”

 

“No, I-I need to go home, I work tomorrow morning. And also in the afternoon.” You felt very nervous. You were speaking to Iron Man himself. _Bye_. _Chill the fuck out bitch._ You cleared your throat “So, yeah, I need to go now.”

Tony looked at his watch, and took his phone. “Let me arrange that. Go back to sleep kid. You need to rest.” You nodded and left the room. You didn’t have the energy to argue.

Once you were back in your room, you realized you needed a shower.

While you showered, you couldn't stop thinking about Frigga and all the conversations you had about her sons. She had told you how intelligent Loki was, such a loving and caring person, with trust and abandonment issues, but he always struggled to be better. The Loki you knew was cruel, ruthless, narcissist, confident and a huge asshole. Thor on the other hand, was a huge puppy, soft and loveable, just what Frigga told you.

 

 _“I hope one day you’ll meet them. You’ll get along well with my younger son, you have a lot of things in common.”_ You remembered she told you once. You really missed her.

 

You didn’t notice that you were crying until your body began to shake. You sat on the floor while the water fell on your back, you couldn’t stop crying. You rested your head on the wall, until the sobbing stopped, and after more than half an hour, you left the shower.

You dried and carried your tired body to the bed. You texted back Evan, telling him that you were sick and maybe you could meet any other day.

You fell asleep after reading almost half of the book, around 4 AM.

 

* * *

 

 

“Are you sure she’s okay? She never sleeps this much. I’ve never seen her so bad.” Anne’s voice echoed in your head like it was from a dream.

 

“She’s just dealing with a lot of pain. The grief she’s feeling must be too much for her body to bear.” A deep voice said. You couldn't put a face to the man who spoke, but he sounded familiar.

 

“I hate to see her like this, she’s been through a lot already, Steve.” You could hear the concern in her voice. You made an effort and opened your eyes. You saw Anne sitting next to Steve Rogers, with her head resting on his shoulder and his hand stroking her long blond hair.

 

_What the fuck is going on? Anne and Captain America? This bitch really gets what she wants. Even the famous Steve Rogers._

 

You thought to yourself as you sat in the bed. You yawned and cleared your throat. Anne looked at you and ran to hug you.

“Are you okay? Is everything fine here? Do you need anything? Do y-” You cut her off. “Anne, I’m fine. Not as good as you, though.” You looked at Steve, who was now blushing. You laughed and he smiled shyly.

 

“I would like to do something today. I can’t stay here longer, I might go insane.” You looked at Anne, who was smiling at you widely.

 

“Alright, get out of your pajamas and after breakfast we’ll see what we can do.”

  


 

You went to the kitchen, and stopped in your tracks as you saw Loki. He glanced at you and after a second looked away to keep reading his book.

You entered the room with your head held high looking at him with disdain. God, you hated this man so much you could just punch him just for breathing. Breathe, that’s what you needed to do. _Breathe_.

 

“Good morning, garbage. Planning a mass murder?” _Where did that come from?_

 

“Just one.” He said cocking his head towards you, with a mischievous smile.

 _What an ass...He has a nice smile, though._ You frowned at your last thought and pushed it away.

You prepared your breakfast, and you could feel Loki’s eyes piercing the back of your head, and everytime you tried to catch him looking, he was peacefully reading. So annoying.

You heard steps coming from the aisle, and you felt relieved that hopefully, more friendly company was coming. Stark entered the kitchen with a huge smile, for you. He glanced at the annoying God, who was still reading in his corner.

 

“Hey there, sleeping beauty, how are you today?” You rolled your eyes at your nickname, and answered the truth. You were going to be okay.

 

“It’s good to hear that kiddo. Is this little bitch treating you alright?” He said looking at Loki. You laughed and nodded.

 

“Since everyone is so happy to have this whiny mortal here, I’ll be at my room until she’s gone.” He stood up and tried to leave, but Tony grabbed his arm before he could go.

 

“Take some extra food then, she’s staying here two more weeks. So unless you wanna starve, which I wouldn't care at all, change your attitude. She has done nothing to you.” Loki pulled Tony's hand away and left without saying anything else.

 

“Two weeks? What about my work? And my apartment?” You asked him, worried. You could not afford to miss your work for two weeks.

 

“You don’t need to worry about any of that. You just need to worry about resting and trying not to kill Loki.” He smiled at you and went to prepare himself a coffee.

  
  


 

 

Your day was pretty amazing. Steve and Thor showed Anne and you the building, the gardens and the library. Anne almost died when she stepped in the huge room, you both loved books, in fact, that’s how you met 10 years ago. You were both looking for the same book in a library, and the rest is history.

Tony arranged Anne’s stay as well, so you both could have holidays together. You actually knew it was Steve who talked to Mr. Stark about Anne, but you were fine with it. Two days here and your friend was already glowing.

Her ex, Charlie, was the worst person ever. She was still not over him at all, so maybe staying here could help her.

 

You spent the afternoon in the gym boxing and doing some training. You hadn’t boxed in months, work took all the free time you had. It felt good to release tension. You started fighting with 12 years old, when they put you in your first problematic foster family, the eldest son beat you just for talking, and the father started doing the same. From there, things did not improve, each household was worse than the previous one, until you were 17 years old. Your last family was not that bad, they even paid for you to go to therapy, although at 21 you left and never returned.

 

You were taking off the bandages from your bloody hands, when someone applauded you from the door, rage bubbling in you when you saw who he was. Fucking Loki.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This two dorks will start interacting more in the following chapters.


	5. Unspoken Truce

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't even know what I'm writing anymore woops. Hope you like it!
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING: Self-harming and self-hatred thoughts.

You looked at him with anger, lowering your hands and closing them in fists.

“What the hell do you want, twat?” You spat, turning around to pick up your stuff and leave. It was not the best time to have a fight with an asshole.

“I'm impressed that an insignificant being is capable of hitting like that.” He laughed while approaching to you.

“You want me to hit your spoiled brat face and see how capable I am?” The look on his face shifted, and for a second you could see... _admiration_? What the hell. His features hardened when your fist hit his jaw in a quick movement, Loki unable to predict your punch.

In a matter of seconds, you were on the ground and Loki pinning you down, with a dagger in your neck. He lowered his head so his lips were mere inches away from your ear.

“Don't think for a second that because of who you are, I won't kill you. I will not hesitate.” He raised his head so your eyes met, you could see a glimpse of defiance.

“Even though you have the opportunity of doing so, I'm still breathing. So if that was a  threat, you failed on scaring me.” You hit his groin with your knee and as he fell on his side, holding his parts and growling in pain, you stood up, took your stuff and left. Before you closed the door, you heard him shout something, but you were anxious enough not to hear it.

 

You took the elevator, and since your room was in the last floor, you had time enough to overthink. Why did Loki hate you so much? You understood your hatred towards him, it was more than justified, but his? _Stop thinking about that._ When you spoke with Frigga about him, you really wanted to meet that man. What have you done wrong to him? Why did no one like you? You were nothing more than a liability. You did everything wrong. You could feel the tears rolling down your cheeks. _That’s all you are good at, crying. You whiny bitch. NO. Stop. Thinking. That. Stop it._ You started rubbing the palm of your hand, digging your nails hard. _Not even your parents loved you, they prefered abandoning you._ There it was, the thought you were trying to avoid so much. _Ding_ . You were a few steps away from your room, you could do it. _If they see you, they are going to make fun of you, crying again. They are going to laugh._ A memory made you calm down your thoughts. “ _You are not all the bad things you believe you are. You are the opposite. You are worth it. You deserve happiness, Y/N_.” Frigga’s voice echoed through your head, repeating the same words on and on. You reached your doorknob, but before you could open it, you heard footsteps approaching you, and everything went black.

 

You woke up in your bed, with a terrible headache. You looked at your hands, bruised and bloody, and sighed. _Not again, Y/N. Not again._ Someone cleared their throat and you spinned your head towards the noise. Your eyes widened at the person who was sitting across the room. Loki was reading your book, and you could see the sorrow all across his features. He didn’t know you were aware of his presence, until you sat up and spoke.

“W-What are you doing here?” You asked, a little bit scared. He closed the book, set it aside and shook his head, like he was answering a question he could only hear.

“I came here to kick your ass, and saw you collapsing to the ground. So I just- I thought leaving you on the floor was not good for me.” He stuttered. Loki the God of Lies, Mischief, Chaos and the God of asses, just stuttered.

“Well, thank you, but you may leave now, unless you’re waiting to finish what you came here to do.” You huffed in response to your headache. He grinned and stood up from his seat.

“As good as that sounds, I won't take advantage of your state.” You rolled your eyes. You tried to hide your hands as his eyes looked at them, but you failed. He frowned and opened the mouth to say something, but apparently decided not to.

“By the way, that book of yours is beautiful. My mother had the same one, we used to read it together.” You looked at him, not knowing what to say. It was Frigga’s book. She gave it to you. Her book. _Why?_

“Loki…” You hesitated. “It was your mother who gave me that book before she-” You shook your head, incapable of saying those words” she gave it to me as a birthday gift.” A single tear rolled down your cheek. Loki turned around and left, without saying a word.

 

* * *

  


Frigga’s burial was beautiful, it was the typical Asgardian one, and as her boat was burning, her soul rose to the night sky, next to the stars. That exact day you had another breakdown, but Anne never left your side, so you could bear it easily. You remember hugging Thor, trying to comfort the both of you. You saw Loki alone, his face unreadable, and made a move towards him. No one deserved being alone in this situation, not even him. When you were next to him, you touched his upper arm and gave it a squeeze, as a way of showing him your respects.

“She loved you so much, you know. She always spoke about her younger son with a deep fondness and with pride.” The words came out of you without you acknowledging. You looked at him so your eyes could meet with his, and you saw him shedding a tear. You couldn’t believe what you were seeing. The heartless monster you thought Loki was, it was gone for a second, and instead of him you could see a scared hurt boy.

 

“I don’t need your pity nor your company, so leave me alone, stupid mortal.” There he was again. His façade back in place.

 

“My name is Y/N. And you know what? I don’t know what I’ve ever done wrong to you, but I’m tired of your bullshit. I-” _Stop_. You wiped a tear that escaped from your eyes and kept speaking. “I wish the Loki that Frigga told me about were here instead of this pathetic excuse of a person. You don’t even know me and still you treat me like trash.” You managed to tell him in a calmed tone. You could tell that to yourself, you didn’t need anyone else telling you. His face was stern, but his eyes were softening.

“If you are done throwing your temper tantrum, I would rather be alone.” He turned and left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These two are starting to be kind of "friendly" to each other.


	6. Bad Memories

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's 4:26 am rn and I'm so sleep deprived I don't even know what I wrote so yeah. This fic is so dramatic and I'm sorry. I was tired of reading the same kind of stories so yeah. But hey, thank you so much for reading, it means a lot.
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING: Physical abuse described.

After a few days, you were feeling quite better. Thor left the day after Frigga’s burial to Asgard to investigate about her murder. You were spending a lot of time by your own, you needed the peace and quiet of the gym, of the library, of the gardens. Anne was having a tougher time than you, facing her own demons, but she insisted in spending her time by her own as well, but you knew it had something to do with her new friend Steve Rogers a.k.a her idol Captain America. You were relieved that she had at least someone different to talk to and to distract her thoughts.

 

Loki and you developed a weird friendship after your tantrum. He approached you the next day and asked you if you could help him with midgardian literature, and apparently it became a routine, you went together to the library and started training together as well, he taught you a lot about fighting and in return you taught him how to use his phone.

 

“Why would I want to see you through a screen if I can see you now. This things are useless.” Loki was very stubborn and a pain in the ass, but you enjoyed his company. He never asked questions about your breakdowns, he just frowned at your hands every time he saw new wounds.

“Well, you use facetime when you are away from the person who you want to speak with.” You hated to admit it, but the thought of leaving Loki saddened you. When his guard was down, he was the boy Frigga told you about, he even seemed to enjoy your company too. “For example, when I’m gone, we can talk through the phone face to face. Isn’t it cool?” He looked at you confused, but he smiled at you.

“I told you, totally useless” He laughed at your fake hurt face, his laughter echoing through the living room. It was the first time you heard Loki’s laugh, and it was amazing. You felt your heart warm at the sight. You became friends quite fast in spite of the rough start you two had, so you were really glad he was having a good time with you.

 

You were exhausted after your training, so you headed to your room thinking about napping for an hour or so. After taking your time showering and cleaning your wounds, you went straight to the bed and fell asleep as soon as your head touched the pillow.

 

_“Y/N? Where are you? I just want to talk to you.” You were trembling with fear, hiding in the darkest corner of your closet. You knew Rick was drunk by the tone of his voice, and that always made the beating even worse. You stopped breathing when the footsteps were too close to your hiding spot. “Are you here Y/N?” He said as he opened the door and found you. He smiled triumphantly and your gut twisted. He grasped your arm strongly and pulled you out, making you land on the wooden floor, hard._

_“Please, I haven’t done anything. I’m sorry, please don’t punish me.” You told him crying, trying, once more, to talk some sense to him. It didn’t work. He unbuckled his belt and removed it from his pants. Rick started to whip you in your back as hard as he could, over and over, leaving new wounds on top of the healed ones._

 

Your screams echoed through your room, waking you up abruptly from the nightmare. From your own memory. You were gasping for air, with your eyes still shut, when two cold arms embraced you in a hug. The smell of lavender and mint filling up your senses and calming you. You didn’t even notice the light was on.

“It was just a dream, you are here now. You are awake.” Loki told you in a soft whisper, the words came out so sweet you wondered if it was really him. You pulled away from him, breaking the hug and wiped your tears. Without saying a word, you turned your back to Loki and pulled your shirt, so he could see the scars across your bare skin. You looked over your shoulder and saw his eyes widening in shock. He stretched his hand to trace a scar with his fingertips, the air catching at your throat at the contact of cold skin. “It was more than a dream, it was a memory.” You told him as you fixed your shirt and turned around to face him.

 

“Who?” He said in a low growl, anger replacing his prior sweetness. _Don’t tell him, he doesn’t care. He doesn’t care._ “Y/N, who did this to you?” You nodded to yourself, trying to gain the courage to tell him.

 

“I was twelve when I arrived to my fourth foster family. They were very kind the first month, but then Dave, the eldest son, showed his true face. Every time I did something he didn’t like, he hit me and threatened me. I started defending myself, but then the father, Rick, took his place, knowing I couldn’t defend myself.” You sighed trying to release some anxiety, and kept speaking.” He never touched me with his hands, it was just the belt. When they finally changed me to another home, I felt relieved. But things got worse, and each house was worse than the previous one, until I was seventeen years old. My last family was kind of cool, although at 21 I left and never returned. And then I- I met Frigga.” You realized that you were looking everywhere except at Loki, and when you did, his face was unreadable. _Say something, please. Don’t hate me._

“You...you are adopted? I- I’m sorry. I…” You shook your head and cut him off. “I was abandoned, no one cared for me enough to adopt me. You can’t imagine how lucky you are. You had a family that loved you, you had a caring mother and you have an amazing brother. You have everything I ever dreamed of.” A single tear fell from your eyes and before it landed in the sheets, Loki wiped it.

“I am truly sorry I acted so mean towards you, without a true motive. I was just jealous about your relationship with mother.” The look in his eyes was pure, tears threatening to fall. “I hope you can forgive me, Y/N.” You nodded and grabbed his hand.

 

“It’s alright, I was a stranger sharing a story with your mother. I understand you.” You smiled at him gently, and he returned it.

 

“You should rest.” He made a move to get up but you took him by the wrist slightly to get his attention.

 

“Please, stay with me. I don’t want to be alone.” He hesitated, but nodded when he saw your broken smile.

You laid down and he did the same beside you. Sleep was flooding in you and in your last seconds of consciousness, you embraced Loki around the waist. He pulled you closer and mumbled something you couldn’t catch.


	7. Confessions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really need to organize the next chapters because a lot of shit is going to happen and I'm starting to feel overwhelmed.

You woke up because something shifted in the bed next to you. You remembered Loki had stayed with you, but you didn’t imagine him staying the whole night.  At that exact moment you realized how stupid you had been, with him, with yourself and with this whole situation. _Shit. You fucked up._ You never gave Loki the chance to show you how he truly was, and you did what Frigga told you everyone did, cast him away. _Shit. Shit. Shit. He was mourning his mother, and you did nothing to help him get through it, only making it worse. He even apologized._ You turned around and the first thing you saw was his face, peacefully asleep. Loki had large cheekbones, a very well defined jawline and his skin was as pale as ivory, raven hair cascading on his sculpted features. You hadn’t realized until now how beautiful he was. After a few seconds of staring, you decided to get up and do something, but his eyes opened before you could even blink. He caught you staring and you started feeling heat spread throughout your cheeks, but never breaking eye contact. He cleared his throat and opened the mouth to say something, but you cut him. “Thank you for staying Loki, you...you really didn’t have to.” He shook his head and smiled softly at you.

“It’s fine. I know what it’s like to deal with awful memories. Mother was the only person I could trust with my nightmares. She was always there.” You could see how hurt he was, how much he suffered. 

“I-I am very sorry. Really, thank you for staying.” You moved to the edge of the bed, and got up. Loki was looking at you, confused, not knowing how to read you.  _ You are acting like a fool.  _ You went to the bathroom and closed the door, sighing. After five long minutes, you appeared back to the room, expecting it to be empty and instead, you found Loki looking out the window, relaxed.  _ What are you going to say now? _ You started playing nervously with the sleeve of your sweater. You opened your mouth, but words didn’t come out, you tried again.

“D-Do you want to have breakfast?”  _ Not too bad.  _ He turned around, and smiled at you while nodding. 

  
  
  


You spent the morning together, doing nothing. He spoke about what Asgard was like, his relationship with Frigga and Thor and about his father, Odin. 

“If it is not a hassle to ask, who are your biological parents?” Loki’s face tensed, his jaw clenching. “I’m sorry I shouldn’t have asked.” He didn’t speak for a minute, but finally he started explaining, never looking at you.

“I come from a lineage of dreaded creatures, monsters with pale blue skin and red bloody eyes. Thor and I used to hear stories about Frost Giants when we were little, growing up fearing them. Odin spent years deceiving me, making me believe that I was like them, when I really was a monster that children were afraid of.” You didn’t know what to answer, feeling the weight of his story.

“A monster is not determined by the way it looks, but it’s actions.”  _ But what about New York? He killed hundreds.  _ You pushed aside those thoughts as fast as you could, not letting them control your next words. “When I look at you, I don’t see a monster, I just see a man who was manipulated and lied by his own father, misunderstood and lost.” Loki looked at you, surprised by your words, tears threatening to come out. “You have as much humanity as everyone else. We all make mistakes, but it’s how we deal with them that makes us who we are.” You realized you didn’t know who you were trying to convince with those words, him or yourself. You were terrible at coping with your own mistakes, never knowing how to forgive yourself. 

 

“Thank you ,Y/N.” His words were like a whisper, almost afraid of saying them. 

“There’s nothing to thank me for, we’re friends right? This is what friends do.” You smiled at him and so did he.

  
  


Thor came back after a few days away, with news about Frigga’s death. He requested a private meeting with Loki, and you couldn’t help to feel anxious about it. You knew it was something bad, because they both disappeared without a word. Trying not to think about it too much, you went to Anne’s room to hang with her. You knocked a few times and no one answered, so you decided to go in. As you opened the door, you saw Anne sitting on her huge desk drawing, with her headphones on. You approached her slowly, and touched her shoulder. She was startled by the contact, but smiled as soon as she saw you. 

 

“Hey girl” She said taking off the headphones. “How are you?”

“I’ve missed you so much, are we sure we are living under the same roof?” You laughed.” What have you been up to?” You asked her as you sat down next to her. She started speaking about going on a date with Steve, about the nightmares she had and apparently Steve was teaching her to fight and shoot. You were so happy for her, she was slowly blooming and becoming the best version of herself. 

You explained your weird friendship with Loki and your concern about how you treated him since the beginning.

“I don’t know what to do Anne, I-I don’t know.” She looked at you, analyzing the situation.

“Maybe you should try to apologize. You both were acting impulsively.” She shrugged her shoulders after you nodded.

“Yeah I should.” 

After a few hours drawing together, you both decided to watch a movie. You settled on the bed, and while you were deciding which movie to watch on Netflix, an alarm went off loudly.

You looked at Anne scared, and she did the same. You stood up and took her hand, dragging her out of bed, and went to open the door to see what was happening on the other side. 

You poked your head and at that moment you saw Tony suited up running towards your room.

“Girls, stay inside, we are under attack.” He said shouting and then flew away.


	8. Disclosures

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy, and once more, thank you for the support. My friend Anne, Aquaxbae, helped me write this chapter so bitch ily thanks for your help and support.

When Tony’s words sunk in, you both were already terrified. _Attacked? By who? Why?_ You didn’t know what to do, stay as you were told or get out and help. _SPOILER ALERT_ : you went out of the room because Anne decided to help. She took a gun she had in her nightstand drawer. _What a badass honestly._ The aisle was empty, but you heard noises from the bottom floors, so you reached the stairs. You thanked the stars for the hard training you’ve been having the past week, because your lungs could deal with running down the stairs. The noise was louder when you reached the 5th floor, and you could see some strange creatures, _aliens_ , dead on the floor. Anne was walking in front of you and cocked the gun, ready to shoot at the minimum movement. 

You entered one of the living rooms and found yourself taken aback by the amount of violence you were witnessing, fear icing your veins. 

Steve was punching, kicking and throwing his shield to the massive aliens. Tony was, well, he was being Iron Man, you also saw Black Widow and Wanda. 

Anne fired the gun at an alien that was running towards you, shooting it right in the head. At the sound of the gun, Steve turned his face abruptly to see who was the shooter, and his mouth fell open, fear written all over his features.

“ANNE, Y/N, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?!” He shouted across the room while fighting with three more aliens. You both shrugged your shoulders and proceeded to try to defend yourselves. Natasha threw you a gun so you could survive, because you weren’t good enough at fighting with fucking creatures that were like Avatars. 

You stood your ground, staying alert in case any of them were to attack you. Anne, on the other hand, went all badass bitch into the battlefield and helped the rest of the Avengers, shooting left and right injuring and killing aliens.

As you were about to shoot one of the aliens that were going to attack her, another came to you, hitting you on your left hand. It made you drop the gun, so it was now only you and your fighting skills. You were so glad Loki taught you how to block attacks, but not so much because you were never able to knock him down. You blocked the alien's attack easily and run to the gun. After taking it, you emptied the chamber on the fucking alien and two of its companions. 

Drunk on the power it had given you, you let your guard down.

 

"Y/N! WATCH OUT!" you heard Anne's voice shout, but it was too late. You felt a throbbing pain in your right side and skin ripping. The claws of one of them tore your body apart, enough to make you dizzy and create a pool of your own blood. You fell to your knees screaming in pain. Anne was shouting and killed the creature, tearing its heart out with some metal thing she took from the floor. 

Anne was speaking to you, trying to keep you awake, while the rest of the team were finishing with the bloodshed. You heard thunder and the room lit up.  _ Thor and Loki are here. _ You tried to say something, to tell Anne that you were okay, but all that came out from your mouth was a whimper. Someone, besides Anne, approached your limp body and caressed your cheek, saying something to everyone in the room. You were so invested in not dying that you couldn’t tell who was speaking.

Before blacking out completely, you felt someone lifting you off the ground, the smell of lavender and mint obstructing the metallic smell of your own blood.

  
  
  
  


“She’s finally waking up, thanks to the universe.” Anne’s voice was the first thing you heard as you opened your eyes. She was by your side in bed, sitting on the edge talking to someone who was not in your field of vision. You incorporated in the bed, wincing because you felt a huge pain in the right side of your body, tears falling from your eyes already.

“Annie..?” Your voice was a whisper, hoarse because of the lack of use. You cleared your throat trying to gain control of your voice. “How long I’ve been asleep? A week?” You laughed, but cut the laughter as soon as you saw Anne’s expression.  _ Fuck _ .

“You’ve been asleep for 10 days. You lost almost five pints of blood. You scared the shit out of me Y/N.” Tears were building up in her hazel eyes. You tried to reach for her hand but before you could, she was hugging you. You could finally see who was also in the room with you.  _ Loki _ . You smiled at him, and as your opened your mouth to say something, Anne started speaking between sobs. “I-I’m s-so sorry I-I was t-the one who convinced y-you to go help. You could be de-dead because of me.” She tighten the grip, hurting your side without noticing. You flinched and she immediately pulled away. 

“Annie babe, it’s fine, I am fine.” You brushed a strand of hair away from her face, smiling softly. You could see the lack of sleep in her tired face, she even lost weight. “Rest a little bit please, I will be fine.”

“I’ll stay with her, in case there’s an emergency or whatever, Anne. Don’t worry.” Loki finally spoke, finding yourself excited to spend time alone with him. 

“Okay, I’m leaving now.” She kissed you in the cheek, and went to the door. She turned around just before exiting the room, “One last thing, Mr Stark wants to speak to the both of us as soon as you are feeling better.” You nodded and she left, closing the door behind her.

 

You looked at Loki, who was now sitting down where Anne was moments ago. 

 

“Hey.”  _ Really y/n?.  _ You smiled.

 

“Hey” Loki’s voice was low. He was looking at you with concern in his eyes, but something else you couldn’t read. “How are you really feeling?

 

“I feel like I’ve been hit by a train, honestly. But I guess this is my state lately.” You laughed, shaking your head as a way of showing you were joking. 

“Anne was right, love. You really worried us.”  _ Love. Love. Love. What the hell, how can he sound so cute being so serious? _ “You looked so pale and lifeless.”

All you could remember before blacking out was being carried. You hesitated before asking him.

“Was it you?” He looked at you, frowning. “You were there when I blacked out.” He seemed to understand what you were talking about.

“Yes, I was. I took you to the doctor’s lab.” You moved closer to him so you could be able to hug him. 

The hug lasted long enough to make you shiver when pulling away from his embrace. Your faces were inches away and you could feel his breath tickling your cheek. You looked at each other in the eye, and he separated a little from you. 

You cleared your throat awkwardly and smiled. “Thank you so much.”  _ Here we go. _ “I- I wanted to apologize for being such an ass with you when we met. I’m sorry. You did not deserve everything I told you or did to you.” He was looking at you, astonished.  _ Please say something. Please say something. _

“There’s nothing you have to apologize for.” Loki smiled at you with the most genuine smile you’ve ever seen.  _ You totally have a crush on this man. Stop staring. _ You looked away, blushing a little bit.

  
  
  


After a few hours speaking with Loki, you thought about eating something solid, so you ordered two pizzas. You decided to watch a movie because he wanted to know more midgardian art, so you opted for the Leonardo DiCaprio remake of The Great Gatsby, one of your favorite movies.

When you had half of the movie seen, your phone started ringing. 

 

“Hey Evan, how’s everything going?” You looked at Loki, saying sorry with your facial expression. He just shrug his shoulders.

 

“I was just in the bar where we met, and I thought of you. I really really want to see you again.” He was speaking very loud and drunk. You rubbed your forehead, thinking how could you get yourself out of the situation.

“Look Evan, we had a great time, but right now my life is a mess and I can’t assure you when I’ll be able to meet with you or anyone. So I’ll let you know.” He huffed and let out a chuckle.

 

“If there’s someone in your life already you should feel free to tell me. It’s not like I want to have a relationship with you or anything.” He hung up without letting you answer. Loki was staring at you, trying to understand what was going on.

 

“Is everything alright? Was he your loved one?” He raised his eyebrow, waiting for the answer.

 

“Yeah, he is just a random guy I met a couple of weeks ago. He just wants to meet and well, I don’t want to anymore.” You cocked your head towards him and he smirked with a glint in the eyes.

 

“Poor Evan, you must have broken his heart.” Loki’s smirk turned into a grin.

“I’m sure he’ll get over it. Who wouldn’t?” The last part slipped. You didn't like to show your insecurities to anyone.

 

“Well, only an idiot would.”  _ WHAT _ .  _ DOES. THIS. MEAN. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know yet how many chapters this is going to be, but I hope you are liking it so far. If you leave any suggestions or any opinions I would be forever grateful <3


	9. Begin Again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is by far the longest chapter I've written. I hope you enjoy!! If you see any mistake or have any suggestion feel free to comment!!

You were astonished, you really couldn’t believe he said that. You realized you had your mouth slightly opened and you immediately closed it. He was frowning, trying to understand your reaction. His eyes widened, as realization sunk in, clearing his throat he explained himself.

“I mean, you are a very friendly person when you want to and a good friend. Who wouldn’t want you in their life?” Loki avoided any kind of eye contact, and you were thankful for it. You let out a sharp breath as you felt a burning pain in your injured side. Loki started to open his mouth to tell you something but you cut him. You wanted to change the subject, since it made you both uncomfortable.

“Do you know what those aliens wanted? How they gotten in here? Where they came from?” You thought Loki might know, being that he knew more about aliens that any of you.

“I’m afraid I don’t, we followed a couple of leads this past week, but they were dead ends.” He sighed and continued speaking. “The only thing we know for sure is what they wanted. Thor discovered they were the ones who killed mother, so they were looking for me.” Fear crossed your face. If they were able to kill Frigga, they could easily kill Loki too. The thought itself made your heart ache, and at that moment you stopped lying to yourself. You cared about Loki so much that the idea of him being dead was unbearable. You couldn’t lose anyone else, you couldn’t.

“They can try, but they won’t touch you, as long as I’m alive.” You said with your voice shaking out of emotion.

You squeezed your eyes shut, trying to avoid tears from falling. Afraid of opening your eyes because you knew you would cry, you felt a hand cupping your face and leaning to the touch, you opened them.

Loki was looking at you with sad eyes, his face unreadable. As magnets, you started pulling closer to each other, when your faces where mere inches away you realized what was going to happen. _What are you doing? He doesn't want to kiss you. Don’t embarrass yourself. He sees you as a good friend._ His breath was tingling your lips, so you abruptly pulled away, clearing your throat.

“I should really rest. I’m feeling quite tired and I’m having a headache.” You could hear your heart beating so loud, you thought it was about to leave your body. The expression Loki had was heartbreaking but you could only catch it a second, as he forced a little smile and stood up. _Fuck._ You tried to think about something to ease the tension in the room, but nothing came. Loki was approaching the door, and he turned around.

“I’ll send Anne later to check on you. Try to sleep a little.” Before he closed the door behind him, you could mutter a low “Thank you.”

  
  
  


Five days. Five long days had passed since the incident with Loki. He never came back after leaving that day, but you never thought it was because of what happened. Maybe he was with Thor or looking for answers on his own. Maybe he was just avoiding you because he was tired of you.

Anne was almost all the time with you, but when she was training or with Steve, your mind wandered to that moment, remembering how softly his eyes looked at you or how light his touch was against your skin, but his words echoing in your mind. _A good friend._ You sighed, and pushed yourself out of the bed. The doctors said you were well enough to start training again, but not fight, as you could open the wound again.

“Hey babe, are you ready to face Mr. Stark?” Anne told you, and you could tell she was nervous. Fifteen days passed since the attack and Stark was silent about your situation, so this appointment scared the both of you a lot.

“Don’t worry blondie, I’m sure it won’t be that bad. Tony deep down, is a softie.” You were really trying to believe your own words, but it scared you a lot. You sometimes missed your old life, but being here felt different. It made you feel like you were part of something. You arrived at Tony’s lab,and before you could knock on the door, Friday let you in.

“Anne, y/n, Mr. Stark is waiting for you.” The voice said.

“Thanks Friday!” Anne said cheerfully. She was the sweetest.

“Hey kiddos. Find somewhere to sit.” Tony was not angry, so it was a point on your favor. You were about to speak when he cut you.

“So, I brought you two here because I have to speak to you. I was way too pissed at you when everything happened. How could you be so stupid? Disobeying my direct orders.” He shook his head. Anne looked at me, and spoke.

“Mr. Stark, I know what we did was reckless and dangerous, but it’s all on me. Y/n was just scared to leave me alone. I take all the blame.” Tony looked at her and smirked.

“Call me Tony. And don’t worry Angel of Death, because I also want to congratulate you on your work.” You suppressed a chuckle at Anne's nickname. It actually suited her so well because she was blond, pale and gorgeous like an angel, and she handled those aliens like a true fighter. Tony turned at you and his face shifted.

“And you, Sleeping Beauty, you really scared the shit out of us. The Spooky Witch didn’t leave your side for a second.” _Spooky Witch?_ You barely spoke to Wanda because you never coincided with her. “What kind of spell are you using to soften him? Because it is really working. He even smiled to me the other day!” _Oh my god._ He was talking about Loki. _What the fuck? WHAT THE FUCK!? Bitch get your shit together, this is something important, you can internally scream later, please._

“I am just a friend.” You said nonchalantly. Tony grinned and raised his brow, questioning your words and you could hear his sarcastic comment in your head. _Yeah, friend. Sure._

“Well girls, the reason why I called you is because I want to offer you a home here. I want you to train with us and be agents.” Anne’s jaw dropped, while you just looked at him and snorted.

“Nice joke, Stark.” He looked at you, with the most serious face you’ve ever seen.

“I really mean it, you two have a huge potential and passion. Perhaps Anne has external motivations, as we all know, but kiddo, you really were made to be an agent.” Tony hesitated. “You should decide where you want to live, but I prefer you here with the team.” You looked at Anne and she was already looking at you, and you started jumping and screaming, you couldn’t believe it. Tony was laughing at your excitement.

 

“Okay girls, I need to keep working. I’ll see you later.” You both went to hug him and thank him, almost crying of joy. Anne left the room running saying something about Steve and you started walking towards the door as well. Tony cleared his throat as a way of calling your attention and you turned your head, waiting for him to speak.

“One last thing y/n, next time you wake up from a ten-day nap, don’t order a pizza without consulting.” He smirked and you stick out your tongue at him, making him laugh.

“You are just pissed because I didn’t share with you.”

  
  
  


Anne and Steve were nowhere to be seen, Natasha and Wanda were on a mission with Sam, Thor and Loki were still away and Tony was working, so it made sense for you to agree to go on a date with Evan, after he called you and insisted kindly three times. You couldn’t stop thinking about Loki and how this date felt wrong, but you couldn’t wait for him when you knew he thought of you just as a friend. _Can’t blame him, tho._

You curled your short hair and wore a little bit of makeup. You had natural long lashes so you just applied mascara and a sharp eyeliner and a dark red lipstick. You wore your favorite black high waisted jeans with a cropped black turtleneck, black stilettos and a black leather jacket. _You look fierce. Go and kill some men._ You asked Tony earlier if you could take a vehicle from the garage, and he said that you were part of the team, so of course you could.

You took a black Harley Davidson, and left.

 

The dinner went well, you spoke about everything and Evan was really interested in you. You went to grab some drinks to a bar close to your apartment and it was an awful decision. You ended the night drunk, naked and with company.

 

An arm wrapping around your waist woke you up next morning, the feeling of regret invading you. You sighed and got out of bed, as fast and careful as you could in order to not wake Evan up, grabbing your clothes on your way out of your room. You didn’t want to stay longer with him, he was nice and you had a great time, but it’s not what you wanted, who you wanted. You were wandering around the house thinking about what to do, when you decided to call for backup, you couldn’t just leave him at your house. You called Anne three times, but she didn’t answer.

“Damn you, Annie.” You muttered. You didn’t want to involve anyone else, so you sat down on the sofa, resigning yourself to what awaited you. You were tugging at your sleeves, anxious, when you received a text message. _Thank god, Anne._ It wasn’t Anne.

 

_God of Mischief:_

_Hey, y/n. I've been looking for you since last night. Is everything alright?_

Was this good or bad luck? You called him, still thinking that it was very unfortunate for him to text you at this exact moment.

 

“Y/N, are you alright? Where are you?” Loki sounded agitated and worried. Your heart skipped a beat at his tone of voice. You smiled to yourself and sighed. How could you explain the situation without sounding stupid?

 

“Yes, I’m good. I’m at my apartment.” You took a deep breath. “But I’m not alone, and I want to leave because-” He hanged up. _He just hanged the damn phone._ You now had two options, crawling back to the compound leaving Evan a note or staying and facing the situation. _Why did he hang up? Have you said something wrong? You’re a mess. You are a fucking mess._ You were getting pretty anxious, Evan wasn’t waking up and Anne was not answering the texts and the calls, so you decided to start writing the note to leave. _You are pathetic. Are you fifteen all over again?_ You couldn’t face Evan because you were afraid of him not liking you, not that you cared, but your pride and insecurities did.

You were about to leave when you heard Evan waking up and calling for you. _Shit. Shit. Shitty shit. FUCK._ You stood there, in the middle of the living room unsure of what to do, when a hard knock at your door had you running to the front door shouting “going”.

  
You opened the door with a strong pull and in front of you stood Loki, scanning the place with his eyes looking for a threat. His eyes stopped right behind you, and when you turned around you saw Evan, looking at Loki and at you shocked. _F U C K._


	10. Paths Converged

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As soon as I finished chapter 9 I started writing this one, and I just couldn't wait to post it. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did while writing it!!

Evan rushed to the bedroom to get dressed, he was fully nude. You brought your hands to your face, trying to hide the embarrassment you were feeling. You were sure your face was crimson and even tears started filling your eyes. You turned to face Loki, who was mortified, looking at you.  He lifted an eyebrow, questioning you, because all you did was bite your lip anxiously.

“What are you doing here?”  _ Nice, girl. That’s all you have to say?  _ “I mean, why did you hung the phone?” You sounded so stupid, your voice being barely a whisper, Evan had enough for today. Loki looked angry, like totally angry, vein almost popping and all.

“You-are you out of your mind?” He snapped  pinching the bridge of his nose, trying to calm down. “I thought you were in danger, but I can clearly see you were not.” He said gritting his teeth. You didn’t know what to answer, so you just let out the first thing that crossed your mind.

“Loki are you hungry? Because I am. I think we should go get breakfast. What do you think?” You were so anxious you thought you were going to pass out.  _ These things only happen to you.  _ Your inner self rolled her eyes at you. At that exact moment, Evan emerged from the bedroom clothed and with his stuff, ready to leave. He approached you and tried to kiss you on the lips, but you turned your face fast enough that his lips crashed on your cheek instead. He looked at you furrowing his brow and looked at Loki, extending his hand to introduce himself.

“I’m Evan, you must be...” He said smiling waiting for an answer, but only receiving a cold harsh look from Loki. Evan put his hand to his side, and rubbing the back of his neck with his other hand. You threw Loki a glare and he gave Evan the fakest smile you’ve ever seen on anyone. 

“I’m Loki.” You really wanted to crawl back to bed and never get out again. You shifted in place awkwardly, and Evan’s eyes lit up.

“So you’re the famous friend Y/N couldn’t stop talking about last night! It’s a pleasure to meet you.” He elbowed Loki in a friendly way and leaned closer to him. “Between us two, I wish she spoke of me like that, you’re so lucky, man.” Before they could interact more, you pushed Evan out the door, waving him goodbye and promising him a call. You pressed your back to the door, closing your eyes and letting out a sigh. 

“Soooo, that was weird.” You said, not sure to who. You looked at Loki, who was looking at you slightly pissed. “First of all, I’m so sorry about that. Normally Anne is the one who handles these things but she di-” He cut you off.

“You don’t have to explain yourself. I’ve seen enough.” He was really pissed. The tone on his voice was not too harsh, but it was cold enough for you to know he was mad at you. 

You convinced Loki to have breakfast with you, so you went to the Starbucks where you used to work. As you stepped in the shop, you could feel all your bottlelled emotions coming to the surface. You hadn’t been here since Frigga’s death, so it was a lot to take in. You ordered two black coffees and went to sit to your usual spot. You could tell by Loki’s expressions and attitude that he wanted to say or ask something.

 

“Is everything alright? You seem to be far away from here.” Your eyes met his and he seemed conflicted, like he had a war in his mind. You reached his hand with yours, caressing his knuckles with your thumb. 

“It’s fine if you don’t want to speak, but I’m here if you need anything.” You smiled shyly, trying to comfort him. His eyes travelled to your intertwined hands, sighing.

 

“Do you like Evan?” He asked, his eyes never leaving your hands. “That’s why you didn’t want to kiss me?”  _ wOw.  _  Your jaw dropped and you tried to puzzle the right words.You let go of his hand, and his eyes instantly darted to yours, pain written all over his features.  You took a deep breath and ran your fingers through your hair. 

“Evan has nothing to do with that.” You kept taking deep breaths, trying to calm down. “I got drunk and then I was thinking about you and then he kissed me and it just made sense that you didn’t want to kiss me. You told me I was a good friend.” Your mind was starting to shut down all kind of emotions, avoiding the rejection that you thought you would have to endure.

“You-You were thinking about me while you were with another man?” He asked, eyebrows rising in awe. You never had issues about opening up to your love interests, even when you knew you didn’t stand a chance. Yes, you were very insecure and always feared rejection, but that was the thing, you always expected a negative so when the answers were different, you felt better about opening your heart. With Daisy, your first love, it was easier. You knew the second you landed your eyes on her that she was the one, it was all flowers and hearts, but with Loki? You felt nothing similar to that. 

With him it was strange, you had no idea what you were feeling, not sure if it was love or just a simple infatuation. You looked at him, sighed, and answered an honest “Yes”.

After that, you decided to change the topic of your conversation and do small talk while you had a cinnamon roll you ordered to eat. 

The way back home was silent, but not uncomfortable, you both seemed to be too immersed in your thoughts. You couldn’t stop thinking about how much you loved being around Loki, how you adored his laugh or the way his eyes softened every time he spoke about something he loved, that was normally Asgard, Frigga or Thor, even though he would never admit the latter. In a month, you cared about him more than yourself, he was always around, trying to make you feel better after a breakdown or sweetly waking you up when you had nightmares. A part of you, deep down, knew that you said yes to staying at the compound because the thought of you away from him hurt. You would never admit to yourself that you had a crush on him before even knowing him, but the feelings were there. You looked to the right, where Loki was walking by your side, and you could not help but smile a little at seeing him so carefree, even relaxed. All that changed once you got in the elevator together. His jaw was tense, his shoulders were tense and all his body was tense.  _ What’s wrong now? _ Once you were close to your floor, you could even cut the tension in the small cubicle, and you guessed Loki had enough of it because he turned to face you, took a deep breath and approached you like you were prey. You knew what his intentions were, but you couldn’t do that to yourself, as much as you wanted him to kiss you, you knew you had to avoid that kind of pain.  _ You’re not ready to be dumped, not by him.  _ So before he was close enough, you moved to the left and in front of Loki, and in a heartbeat the elevator reached the floor. You rushed outside, running as fast as you could, trying to avoid the embarrassment you were feeling by your own stupid actions. You stormed into your room and closed the door, but you could see someone in it from the corner of your eye. You turned around and Loki was standing in front of you, rage boiling in his eyes. 

“What the hell is wrong with you, y/n?” He didn’t move from his spot. “Care to explain this nonsense?” You knew exactly what he was talking about. Your actions didn’t match your words, but all you could answer was something idiotic.

“How did you get in here before me?”  _ Are you stupid? Yes. _ Loki was furious at you, only a fool wouldn’t see that, and with that question you just made things worse.

“I have magic.” He spat. Your eyes paced the room, trying to avoid his murderous stare. “Now that we got that clear, could you answer my damn question?” You slid down the door to sit, bringing your hands to your face and rubbing your temple with your index fingers. You gained the courage you needed and spoke.


	11. Open hearts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I was overwhelmed with this chapter because it's an important one and I don't know if things are clear. I hope you like it and leave comments if you want to with opinions, they help me a lot!! Thanks for reading and enjoy!

“I’m a mess, a huge fucking mess, and I seriously don’t think I know why I act how I act with you.” You sighed. “I am just scared of everything.” You felt hot tears rolling down your cheeks. You were tired of holding back everything, tired of not feeling valid and tired of the overwhelming sensation of everything good turning into ashes.

“It’s not an answer. It’s just another excuse to walk away. But I am not letting you walk away.” Loki was furious at you, you knew him too well to know what he was trying to do. He wanted you to open up. “You can’t tell someone you think about them while you are with another person and then pushing them away when you’re too scared of a kiss.” That stung your heart deeper than any knife could, but he was right. “All I’m asking is for you to be sincere with yourself, y/n.” 

“You want me to be sincere? Then I’ll be.” You snapped. You stood up, so you could face him. “I am terrified of what I’m feeling because you already have the power to hurt me. I am not enough even for myself, how could I trust someone not to abandon me?”  _ You’ve been your whole life in a mental loop, blaming your parents, but you were the only one to blame. You were the only one to blame because you were never enough, not for them, not for yourself, for anyone.  _ You started sobbing louder, your body shaking. You brought your hands to your face, trying to cover it. Loki grabbed your hands carefully and pushed them off your face.

“You are really blind, if you can’t see that the only one who is potentially going to be hurt is me.” He looked at you, tears threatening to come out. “You think I would disappear five days without telling you anything? You rejected me, and the pain was unbearable, but I had to come back, to you.” You blinked, his words felt like a punch in your gut.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean, Loki?”  _ Was he serious? Him hurt because of you? No sense at all. _

“Well, love, that means I am in love with you.” Loki looked at you with sadness, regretting his own words, afraid of more rejection. But of course you had the most ugly reaction a person could have in these situations. You snorted and then started laughing but with sad tears in your eyes. Loki’s eyebrows snapped together and  he gritted his teeth.

 

“You really want me to believe that?”  He scowled and you swallowed trying to untangle the lump forming in your throat.  _ How could he love you? How?  _ “Loki, how could someone like you, love someone like me? It makes no fucking sense." You looked away, trying to hide the fear in your expression. Loki closed the space left between you, standing now mere inches away from each other. 

 

He wanted to show you how wrong you were, how special you were for him. You were his dream since Frigga spoke the first time about you, all those years ago. Loki visited the library everyday, disguised of course, just to speak to you. Your smile always warmed his coldest days and he adored how you spoke about your favorite books for hours, fascinated with your passion for poetry and mythology. No one knew about his visits, he was always a different person, afraid of showing himself and scaring you away. When he found out you were staying at the compound because you were ill, he freaked out and convinced Thor (making him think it was his own idea) to let Loki visit you. He still remembers your face when you saw him entering the room, fear and anger written all over your features, so he decided it was better for you to stay away from him.  _ This is the pathetic mortal mother thought about before she died?  _ Those words still haunt Loki, because they weren’t true. No one knows that same night, he went to visit you but casting an illusion so no one could see him.

 

Loki ran his thumb up the side of your neck, making you shiver even though you were still wearing your turtleneck, grabbing your chin gently and lifting it, forcing you to look at him, his expression was relaxed and his eyes were studying yours.  _ What was he thinking about? _

“You are so wrong thinking you don’t deserve someone to love you. You deserve the universe, and I am willing to give it to you.” You closed your eyes in defeat, and took a deep breath. When you opened them, Loki cupped your face and leaned in, so you just followed his actions, tired of fighting yourself. His lips were soft against yours, the feeling was intoxicating you. You  opened your mouth so your tongues could intertwine, dancing with each other. He tasted like fucking mint, fresh and sweet. You embraced his neck, pulling down so he was closer to you and ran your hands through his raven locks. He moaned in your mouth, making your legs weak, and started caressing every edge of your body. 

You started moving forward, your lips only parting to breathe and once his calves hit the edge of the bed, you pushed him. He was panting, his chest rising and falling heavily but his lustful eyes never left yours.  He leaned back onto his elbows, watching you move painfully slow, crawling on the bed and straddling him. You gasped at the feeling of his arousal brushing your thigh, making you wetter. You leaned and kissed him slow and deep, your hair cascading on his face, he grabbed it and pulled, making you moan and trying to press your legs together, looking for some friction. He smirked mischievously and ran his palms through your naked belly and under your top, stopping at the edge of the bralette. You shivered under his touch.

You broke the kiss, pressing your foreheads together, both of you smiling like dorks and trying to catch some air. You’ve never felt so dizzy after only a kiss, and at that moment you knew your crush on him was something deeper. His pupils were blown and he was all flustered, just as much as you were. He looked beautiful, his dark hair was disheveled, his factions were relaxed and the green of his eyes was sparkling. He looked like the god he was. You pressed your lips with his once more, before moving down to his neck, kissing and biting.  _ This is really happening. You are really going to do this with Loki. OH MY GOD.  _ Loki grabbed the hem of your top and slowly began to lift it, but his action was cut off by someone storming in the room. You hopped off the bed as fast as you could and turned to face the intruder.  _ Someone is dying today _ . Anne’s face was the true expression of agony and fear. She was startled, her jaw went slack and her eyebrows rose. You sent her a glare and she shook her head, looking at her phone.

“I’m..I-I saw the phone calls...” She cleared her throat nervously, trying to explain herself. “I thought something bad happened.” Anne looked at her feet, embarrassed. You turned around to see Loki, and the only thing you could see was green light fading. _ He left. _

“Anne Marie, I swear to the gods, you’re not dead because I love you way too much.” She looked at you fucking grinning. You sighed and sat on the bed, patting next to you so she sat too. 

“Okay, I’m so sorry for cockblocking you, but  **omg** I need all the damn details!.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry. I just can't stop cockblocking y/n poor soul.


	12. Screen to screen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for this shitty chapter. I had a huge block and I've spent this whole day procrastinating, I've even painted a pair of jeans and baked some bread. WOW.

Two weeks passed since that first kiss with Loki. He and Thor left  _ again  _ because someone told them something about the attacks, apparently that  _ someone  _ was from Asgard, so they had to go back to their home. You were worried because you knew what could happen to Loki if Odin found him there, but everything seemed okay so far. There were a lot of things you had left unsaid that day and you had to sort out your feelings towards yourself. You started therapy a couple of days after Loki’s departure, you were training a lot with Nat and Wanda’s help and you were journaling a lot. 

You finally packed your whole apartment and moved out, throwing away all the memories from your painful past. You wanted to start over, you wanted to be able to love and forgive yourself and just thrive. After Daisy, you thought you could never love again, so you started to believe that, only allowing random one night stands into your life and pushing everybody away the second they got too attached. You knew you loved Loki with all your being, but you couldn’t face the fact that he loved you back, you couldn’t understand why. 

You were pacing your room, bored and worried, your favorite band loudly blasting through the walls and the sky was turning from blue to peachy pink, golden rays softly entering your window. You sat on your bed and scrolled through your instagram timeline, liking Anne’s posts (all of them were Steve Rogers related of course) and smiling, knowing she was finally happy. You spent more than half an hour on your phone watching short makeup tutorials when the screen flashed with Loki’s name. You jumped excited and answered the call.

“Hey, Spooky. How is everything?” You smiled at his small huff, knowing he hated Tony’s nickname. 

“Regretting the call.” You felt his eye roll from the distance. He really hated the nickname. “And maybe missing you.” Your heart skipped a beat at that.

“Loki, how can you have signal? Are you back on Earth?” He hummed in response and you smiled. You haven’t spoken in two weeks, since he didn’t have signal  _ obviously  _ in Asgard. You pressed the FaceTime button, waiting to see his face. Seconds later, his perfect face showed on the small screen of your phone. He looked tired, but his eyes sparkled when he saw you.

“Hey love” He softly smiled at the camera. “We arrived just now, we are in Norway, and soon we’ll be home.”  _ Home.  _ You couldn’t believe he called the compound home. You opened your mouth to say something, when Thor took the phone from Loki’s hand and smiled widely at you.

“Hey y/n!! I was talking to my brother the other day about you, and you should really take him out on that things you midgardians do all the time.” You frowned at the screen, not knowing what he meant at all. 

“Thor, what do you mean with  _ things _ ? We do a lot of things.” He smiled and looked to his right, where you guessed Loki was standing, you heard him say something to Thor.

“You know, when two people love each other and they go to have food or drinks together.”  _ You’ve been exposed sis. How? When? Why?  _ You felt your cheeks burn.

“I don’t- we are...I mean…”  _ Concentrate. Breathe in, breathe out.  _ “You mean a date, Thor?”

Could you kick a god's ass? Because you really wanted to.

“Yes!! A date!” He grinned and looked at Loki again, and his expression fell for a second. “Okay, my brother is threatening me with a butter knife, so I guess that’s the end of our chat!” You both chuckled and heard Loki clicking his tongue. He ripped the phone out of Thor’s hands and threw something at him.

“Y/n see you so-Damn Loki, you stabbed me  _ AGAIN _ ” Loki smirked, ignoring his brother’s weeping.

“So, about that date?” He asked, raising one eyebrow and  the corner of his mouth lifted.

  
  
  
  


You were with Wanda at the common room, she was talking about her relationship with Vision, but all you could think about was Loki. You couldn’t wait any longer to hug him and kiss him again.  _ Well, love, that means I am in love with you.  _ _ You are so wrong thinking you don’t deserve someone to love you. You deserve the universe, and I am willing to give it to you.  _ Loki’s words still haunted you.  _ Was he really in love with you? _ All you knew was how excited you were that he was coming back soon. You flinched when Wanda touched your hand, she was looking at you concerned.

“Y/n did you hear me?”  _ Fuck.  _ You shook your head slowly, pursing your lips.

“I’m sorry, I zoned out. What were you saying?” She gave you a lopsided grin and raised one brow, and at that moment you knew she was up to something.

“I just said that I think I heard Thor’s voice outside.” Your eyes widened and you stood up and waved goodbye while running towards the doors. You reached the last floor and ran to the backside of the building, your eyes caught Thor and Tony talking vively about something you couldn’t care less at that exact moment. When you were close enough to hear their voices, you stayed still, scanning Loki. He looked at you and his eyes sparkled. He started walking towards you but you started running and jumped into his arms, holding him as tight as you could with your arms around his neck and your legs wrapped around his waist. He hugged you back with the same determination as yours, one hand stroking the back of your head and the other one holding your back.

You pulled back your head so you could make eye contact, he smiled at you and muttered “hey” just before leaning in and kissing you.

Loki pulled back, both of you gasping for air, you carefully untangled from his body and took his hand in yours.

“I’ve missed you so much.” You said and smiled at him, you were sure your eyes were saying all your mouth couldn’t. As they say, the eyes never lie.

“Are you done, lovebirds? So gross.” Tony snapped jokingly and you elbowed him. Thor hugged you and spun you around like a doll and said something about being a sister, you really couldn’t catch it. Once you were safely back on the ground, you walked with Loki into the building, telling him all you did while he was away. 

After a couple of hours speaking and making out, you decided it was the perfect moment to ask him out on a date. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think they will do on their date? As always, thank you so much for the kudos and comments, they really keep me going <3


	13. Stargazing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry I took so long to post. I had a big block writing the end of the chapter and I also had some relatives at my house, so I've been pretty busy. I hope you don't feel very disappointed with the chapter. I think I'll end the story soon, since I've already written the end of the final chapter (maybe).  
> WARNING: (bad) Smut ahead.

You were getting ready for the date you had been organizing for a week. You’d decided to keep the location a secret since Loki thought you were going to have dinner at some fancy restaurant. Okay, that was actually your fault because you told him you were having dinner somewhere special. After Loki’s arrival, you spent all the nights together, getting to know everything about the other and just falling asleep in each other’s arms. You were improving so fast with the therapist’s help and Loki’s presence, the nightmares stopped and you were learning to let the grudges of the past go, slowly, but all you needed was time. You looked at your reflection in the mirror, and couldn’t recognize yourself. Your skin was clear and glowing, you had light in your eyes and the dark circles under them were fading, you even looked beautiful with your hair in a messy bun.  _ You are thriving, bitch.  _ You thought about changing your clothes, like four times, but at the end you decided to wear the first outfit, which was a pair of mom jeans, with a dark green sweater and black combat boots.  _ You look great girlie, snatch some wigs.  _ You told Loki to meet you at 8 p.m at the entrance of the compound. You went to the kitchen and gathered all the food you cooked that morning and hid with Wanda’s magic, so no one could eat it, took a huge blanket, candles and some Asgardian wine Thor gave you, saying it was Loki’s favorite. Once you had all packed, you counted to ten, trying to ease your nerves and left the building. 

You saw Loki’s back and slowed down, staring at him, the air leaving your lungs. He was wearing a simple outfit, black jeans and a black sweater, but he looked ridiculously beautiful. When you looked at his feet, you giggled to yourself, he was wearing the pair of black converse you chose for him a month ago. Your legs started functioning again, and when you were about to touch his shoulder, he turned around with a huge grin. You smiled shyly, taken aback by his beauty. He closed the space left between you and gave your lips a small peck, but before he could move away, you reached for his neck and pushed down so you could give him a proper kiss. Breathless, you broke the kiss to catch some air.

“Hello, love” he said and placed his arm on your shoulders, and you walked like that to the car. 

Loki was trying to hide his massive blush and his nervousness. He spent the whole week trying to figure out why all the mystery about the date, but he couldn’t get anything from you or anyone else. He just had help from Wanda with the outfit, because she was the only one who considered him something similar to a friend. When he came to Earth after the New York battle, he tried to compensate his acts by helping the Avengers and after a year, he moved in with Frigga. He understood better than anyone Wanda’s powers, so they bonded through magic lessons and missions.

After what seemed to be an eternity, you parked the car and got out. Loki jolted when you grabbed his hand and intertwined your fingers with his, but relaxed immediately. You were taking him to your special spot in Central Park, so once you arrived, you placed all the items you brought on the grass and motioned him to sit next to you. You knew he was cloaking the space you were at, since green magic flowed in the air surrounding you. While he was doing his witchy stuff, you light up the candles and placed them carefully on top of the huge blanket. When he turned around to face you, he felt his eyes tearing up at the sight in front of him. You were looking at him with adoration and a shy smile, the soft light of the candles and the moonlight softening your features, making you look like an angel. He sat down beside you and kissed your temple.

“I really have no words to express how thankful and lucky I am.” He placed his hand on top of yours and kept speaking. “I don’t deserve any of this, I’m…” You cut him off.

“Loki, you deserve to be happy as much as anyone else in the world. And don’t you fucking dare thinking for just one second that you are not enough for me, because you are more than enough.” You brushed the palm of his hand with your thumb and pressed a kiss to his cheek. 

“Now please, let’s have dinner because I’m starving.”

  
  
  
  


You were laying next to Loki, with your head on his chest and your arm wrapped around his waist, just looking peacefully at the stars. He stretched his arm and waved his hand to the sky, green flickering his fingertips. You gasped when you realized the constellations you were looking at were different ones, even the sky seemed different.

“H-How?” You were astonished and looked at him, waiting for his answer. He looked down at you and smiled.

“I showcasted an illusion of the asgardian night sky, from my memories. I could show you all my memories and you would see them as your own, but of course knowing they aren't yours.” Your jaw dropped, you couldn’t believe your eyes.

“You are amazing.” You scanned his face, waiting for a dismissal, but you just received a warm smile.  _ You are so screwed.  _

“Just for you, my love.” As soon as the words hit you, you propped up on your elbows and leaned in to kiss him, slow and passionate. Loki cupped your face and parted his lips from yours to breathe, and instead of kissing you again, he brushed his lips against yours. 

You groaned annoyed at his sweet teasing, so you straddled him and kissed him ferociously, having the upper hand at the moment, or at least that’s what you thought.

Loki pulled apart and smirked mischievously and before you could even blink, he was pinning you down on the blanket, devouring your mouth. 

You could feel your arousal growing, your lace soaking wet. You hooked your legs around Loki’s waist, pushing him closer to you and moaning into his mouth when you felt his huge erection against you. You slipped your hands through his hair, grabbing a handful and pulling. You broke the kiss and opened your eyes, finding Loki’s intense gaze, his eyes almost black with lust. 

“Y/n, are y-” He said before you cut him off.

“I want you right here and right now.” You kissed him again before he could answer, but he pulled apart once more, and you frowned.  _ Maybe he is the one who doesn’t want you.  _ You let out a sigh and opened your mouth to speak, but Loki cut you off before.

“I want you too, but are you sure about this?” You nodded and muttered a soft “yes”. Loki’s mouth was once again on yours, his hands all over your body. Your hands drift down his body, touching the edge of his jeans and he let out a deep growl. Loki attacked your neck, biting and sucking down, and with a snap of his fingers, your sweater was off.

You gasped at the sensation of cold air hitting your naked breasts but it was soon replaced with Loki’s hot breath kissing and nipping your nipples. His hands travelled fast down your body, you rolled your hips against him and that was enough for him to almost rip off the button of your jeans. He looked at you, asking for permission, so you just rolled your hips once more, placing your hands on his hair and kissing him. Loki’s fingers slid in between your bare folds, rubbing your clit using the wetness gathered on his fingers, slowly. You took his sweater off and your hands maneuvered under his jeans and underwear, pulling them down, letting his dick out. You started stroking him while he slid a finger in your wet core.

“All this for me, my love?” He smirked. You let out a loud moan when he slid another finger inside you and began to curl them, looking for your g-spot, and once he found it, you were gone. 

“Loki, I’m..I’m so close.”  You moaned, hands fisting the blanked beneath you.

“Come for me, kitten.” You could feel  the pressure in your stomach build, your body trembling as moans and curses escaped your mouth, and you came hard on Loki’s fingers.

He brought them to his mouth and licked them, tasting you. Once you caught your breath, you flipped Loki so now he was the one laying on his back and you were on top, straddling him once more. He snapped his fingers and all your clothes were gone.

“We’ll have more time to worship each other, but right now, I need you.” You leaned in to kiss him while grabbing his dick and placing it at your entrance, teasing him. He gripped your hips and groaned, pushing in you painfully slow so you could adjust to him. You’ve never felt how you were feeling at that exact moment, under the asgardian sky and with him, it just felt right. 

You started riding him at a slow pace, placing your hands on his chest to steady yourself. He tightened the grip on your hips, both of you moaning at the intense pleasure you were feeling. 

Loki couldn’t place all the sensations he was feeling, but he swore that he could die happy right now, with you on top of him looking like a goddess, with the pale moonlight hitting your features and your hair flowing with every movement you made. He sat down, holding your body against his as close as he could. He cupped your face and kissed you, leaving you breathless. 

Loki felt your walls clenching as you were reaching your next orgasm, he sucked in the sweet spot where your neck and shoulder connected, driving you mad. You moaned and tilted your head back, your orgasm hitting you like a tidal wave, making him feel his own release. 

You collapsed on Loki’s chest, hearing his unsteady breaths and his heartbeat. He grabbed the edges of the blanket and wrapped you both in it. Your eyelids were feeling way too heavy, you felt exhausted. Loki was tracing patterns in your back and the words came out of your mouth before you could even process them.

“I love you.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you so much for reading and coping with my shitty writing and my terrible life planning. I hope I can get another chapter soon <3


	14. Departures

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are reaching the end, I wanted to thank you all for your comments and support. I hope you like this chapter and please, try not to hate me.

You sighed contently as you felt your body finally relax in the bathtub. You closed your eyes, and felt a jolt of pride as you replayed your first mission in your head. It was an easy one, you just had to gather information at an old Hydra base, but as it was expected, you had to fight your way out. You only had a couple of bruises and tons of stress. You played your Classical music playlist and poured some lavender scent into the water, stirring it with your fingers slowly. Just when you were starting to fall asleep, you felt two hands caressing your shoulders and smiled, turning your head to see your lover sitting at the edge of the tub, smiling back at you. He then leaned in and kissed you sweetly, cupping your face and caressing your cheeks with his thumbs.

“How was your first mission, love?” He asked as he pulled a few inches away, pressing his forehead to yours. After your first date a month ago, everything was perfect. You both tried to leave aside your fears and let your matching scars heal with your love. _Ugh so cheesy_. You stood up and moved forward, so Loki could step in. He sat down and stretched his legs so you could sit between his legs. You placed your head in his shoulder and he hugged your chest.

“It was good! They tried to kick my ass, but guess what? They couldn’t.” Loki let out a chuckle that made your whole body vibrate and your heart swelled at the sound. He took the body wash and pour some in his hands, and began washing your shoulders.

His hands slid up and down your arms, setting your skin on fire, and slowly trailing his fingers through your chest, reaching your boobs and cupping them with both of his hands. You let out a moan when his hands reached your hips, making you flinch when he dug his nails on each side of your body. You took your hand to your back, grabbing Loki's cock and giving it a few strokes, while his fingers toyed with your clit.

You turned around and straddled him, bringing your hands to his neck and kissing him intensely.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


You were curled up in bed naked, Loki’s head resting on your belly while you braided some strands of his hair. He opened his eyes to look at you, a sad expression clouding his eyes. You frowned, worried, and sat down so you could take a better look at his face .

“Loki, what’s wrong?” He stretched his arm and cupped your face, caressing your cheek with his thumb. _Have you done something wrong?_ You mentally shook your head, trying to keep those thoughts away. His expression softened, clearly because he heard the concern in your tone. He was still struggling with accepting that someone could actually love him for who he was, and it pained you to see how he doubted himself.

“Nothing too important. I came to speak to you, since I have to go back to Asgard with-” You cut him off, unable to keep your mouth shut. You hated Loki’s visits to Asgard, knowing all the dangers he faced every time he went back. You knew they weren’t using the bifrost but it still worried you.

“Again?” You huffed. “Love, I know you need to go, but is it safe?” Loki was taken aback by your reaction. You never spoke about the fact that he put his life in danger so much in order to find out who murdered Frigga.

“I’ve been hiding from Heimdall since my arrival on Earth, and every time we go back I just hide Thor as well. There’s nothing to worry about.” He smiled at you, trying to ease your nerves, but his words just gave you the best idea you’ve ever had.

“Can I come? Since there’s nothing to worry about and you can also hide my presence, I would love to see your home.” You gave him the sweetest smile you could, also batting your eyelashes, knowing he couldn’t resist it.

“I don’t know Y/n, I don’t want to risk your safety” _If something happened to you, I would never forgive myself,_ Loki thought, but seeing your face lit up at the idea of visiting Asgard, he couldn’t say no. He sighed, and nodded to himself.

“I’ll arrange everything with my brother, we were planning on leaving tomorrow morning.” You shifted positions in a swift move, so now you were laying on top of him. You pressed your foreheads together, lips barely brushing, and smiled.

“Thank you.” You whispered and kissed him. At that moment, while kissing him, you realized you just told him you loved him once. You pushed the thoughts aside and focused on your kiss.

Loki pulled away, and cleared his throat, trying to calm himself.

“As much as it pains me to say this, we have to sleep. Tomorrow is going to be a hard day,  love.” He cupped your face with both of his hands and gave your lips a brief kiss. You tangled your legs together and placed your head in Loki’s chest, hugging his waist. He snapped his fingers and the blanket floated,a green light fading as it covered you. You snuggled closer to Loki and placed a kiss on his chest, right on top of his heart and soon you were falling asleep hearing his heartbeat.

Loki took longer to fall asleep that night, the possibilities of what could go wrong playing on his mind. He sighed to himself and looked down at your sleeping form, and as tears formed on his eyes, he whispered to the silent room “I’m ready to live for you”.

  


* * *

  
  


As you crossed the portal, you were mesmerized by the glorious golden city facing you. Asgard was like a dream, waterfalls everywhere you looked at, trees surrounding every street and building, steep snow capped mountains jutting out from behind the huge golden castle. While you admired the view, Loki was admiring you with an unsettling feeling in his heart. _Everything will be alright_ , he told himself, trying to ease his growing anxiety.

Thor and you were chatting about something Loki was not paying attention to, too concerned with the fact that there were barely any guards guarding the entrance to the castle.

“Thor, something’s not okay.” Just as Loki ended the sentence, you were all surrounded by those dreadful aliens. You looked at Loki and Thor with wide eyes, panic icing your veins.

“Y/n, stay behind me.” Loki said as he pushed you behind his body, shielding you. The aliens didn’t move, they just stood there, like they were waiting for something, or someone.

“Loki, do you think father is alright?” Thor whispered, as he got close to you. Loki looked at Thor and shrugged, not knowing what was happening at all. Now you knew why Loki was so hesitant when you asked him to bring you to Asgard, and you should have stayed at home. You opened your mouth to speak, but your words were cut off as someone spoke before you.

“Look who we have here, the fugitive son has returned.” The man said as he clasped his hands together. Loki pulled you closer to him, your cheek pressed against his back. You could sense he was scared, and at that moment it clicked. The man was Odin, and he found you, he found Loki. You shivered at the thought of something happening to Loki, and you found the courage to move and stand next to him, grabbing his hand and interlacing your fingers.

Odin looked at you from head to toe, and smiled.

“And as I can see, you are not alone.” He took a step forward, and the three of you took a step backwards. You looked at Thor, who was frowning at his father, oblivious of what was happening. “How could you trick a mortal into loving you? You have disappointed me, son.” He spat the last word, like it was poison. Loki tighten the grip, almost hurting your hand. He was thinking of what to say, so you took the chance and spoke.

“He didn’t trick me. I am here because I decided to be here, and I am standing next to him because I love him.” You snapped at Odin, words coming out harsher than you thought. Odin started laughing, and once more, spoke to Loki.

“You will never learn, Loki. First, I have to kill your beloved mother to get to you, and now you bring your mortal whore to die for you.” Your jaw dropped, you couldn’t believe he killed Frigga, just to hurt Loki. He killed his own wife to get Loki out of his hiding place.

“You **what**?!” Thor finally spoke, tears streaming down his face, and you could feel his rage.

“You really thought I would forgive Frigga for betraying me?” He laughed in an evil way and it made you shiver. “And you, Thor, you have disappointed me more than anyone. Living amongst mortals and hiding your brother. You are not better than him.”

“I prefer to be like him than to be like you. How could you kill mother?” Thor said, and as soon as all the words left his mouth, he threw himself forward to attack Odin, but the aliens started to move, protecting him. Thor, of course, had the upper hand, so Loki just stood there, thinking of a way out. He needed to protect you at all costs.

“What is your name, you stupid mortal? I want to know who would die for this monster” Odin said, gesturing towards Loki. You let go of Loki’s hand and stepped forward, with your head held high.

“My name is Y/n Y/l/n, and he is not a monster. The only monster I see is you.” You felt two hands gripping your shoulders and a body shielding you. Loki was on top of you, throwing knives at the aliens that were attacking him. He stood up, still shielding you, and fought alongside Thor. You were tired of being a burden so you also stood up and fought. The three of you easily took down all the alien army and you were standing once more in front of the Allfather.

“What now?” You shouted between pants, to no one in particular. Odin threw his spear at Loki, but before he released the handle, Loki pulled out a weird casket and froze Odin.

You looked at the man beside you, and his appearance changed. His skin turned into a pale blue tone, with marks all over his features and crimson eyes. You raised your hand to touch his face, but he stopped you. You frowned at him. He was beautiful.

“Please, don’t. I don’t want you touching a monster.” He sighed.

“Loki, you are not a monster, you are beautiful.” You raised your hand once more, and caressed his cheek with your fingers. He was cold, his skin was like marble but soft as silk. You swore you felt more in love with him. You hugged him, and you felt his body warming up.

He pulled back and he had his normal appearance. He was smiling softly at you.

“I lo-” You were cut off by Thor shouting and something moving towards Loki.

“LOKI WATCH OUT!” You snapped your head and moved in front of Loki, feeling a strong pain, your body falling. Loki caught you before you touched the ground, saying your name over and over again.

“Shh...I...I’m fine...I l-love y-you.” You forced a smile, as tears streamed down your face uncontrollably. You knew what was happening, but you felt good knowing Loki would be alive.

“I’m sorry. I-It’s not y-your fault” You were able to mutter, hoping Loki would understand that it was your decision and he had nothing to do with it. You felt his hands cupping and caressing your face nervously.

 

You felt your body shutting down, the throbbing pain and metallic smell of blood leaving your senses. You started feeling lightweight and peaceful, a strong known scent of lavender and mint covered all your mind. You tried to reach consciousness, but it felt too far away. Memories started passing through your mind, all of them had the same protagonist. Green eyes staring at you for the first time, at the library, years ago. You mentally frowned, not recalling all those days with Loki, and you realized before blacking out, that they weren’t your memories.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry..


	15. Please, stay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is it folks. I can't believe it's finally the end. I had so much fun writing this story, putting my heart and soul into it, trying to make you feel what they were feeling. I hope you enjoyed it. Thank you so much for all the kudos, comments, bookmarks and all the feedback, it really kept me going.

_**Loki’s POV** _

 

1 year later. 

  


Life without her was hard. There were days when the pain was too unbearable and other days, Loki could hear her pacing in her room, or sweetly calling out his name. There were so many things he left unsaid and she would never be able to know them. Loki thought he never treated her the way she deserved, and he knew he would never forgive himself for that.

Thor was always there for him, once he opened up to him about everything he was feeling. Loki knew he had to face the fact that she was dead, so he decided to mourn alone, even though Thor asked him if he needed the company. He was always quite adamant to show his feelings, scared to be rejected or judged, so he decided to head to the cemetery alone.

Once he arrived, he hesitated at the entrance, not sure if he was ready to visit her after a year without her.

As he walked through the graveyard, Loki couldn’t stop thinking about how Odin took almost everything from him, his identity, his mother and...His thoughts trailed off when he saw a figure standing next to her grave. His body reacted before his brain could, so he was now standing behind the woman’s body. He was about to open his mouth, when her voice cut him off.

 

“You can drop the illusion you know” Loki could feel her sadness intertwine with his own. “I can recognize your smell, Loki.” So he turned back to his own self. Loki’s eyes widened when she turned around, a sad smile placed on her lips. She looked tired but the glint in her eyes showed she was at peace. She looked so beautiful, even when she thought she didn’t.

“I thought you were on a mission.” He said as he approached her side. “I’m so glad you could make it, love.” Y/n took his hand in hers and gave his lips a small peck, leaning her head on his shoulder. She hugged Loki’s middle and shivered. He smiled, thinking about how lucky they both were, finally being happy with themselves and with each other.

 

“Of course, babe.” She squeezed him, and he kissed her at the top of her head. He couldn’t stop thinking about the day he almost lost her.

 

_Loki started panicking when she closed her eyes, her limp body under his arms. Her pulse was slowing down, and he decided to show her all his secret moments with her, as he tried to heal her with his magic. “If she dies, I’m going with her” Loki thought at that exact moment, his life making no sense anymore if he lost her. She was, besides Thor and Frigga, everything he had ever loved. Thor was fighting with Odin, and managed to kill him. Once he was by Loki’s side, they called Heimdall, so he could take them back to the compound. Y/n pulse was weak, but she was still alive. She was going to be okay, she was going to survive. When the doctors stabilized her, he felt like he could breathe again. She survived, she was okay._

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

You were waiting for Loki to place some fresh flowers on Frigga’s grave, a small smile forming on your lips. You were sure you looked at him like he was holding the whole universe in his hands, but if you were honest, he was your whole universe. _Ugh back to the cheesiness, y/n?_

Loki looked at you once he was done, and hold your hand.

“Your place or mine, love?” He winked and you let out a small chuckle, he was such a dork. You elbowed him and started walking out of the cemetery, leaving behind the sadness and the grief.

“Well, considering that we live together, I think we should just head home.” You smiled, and kept walking.

You couldn’t believe how much your life changed in just a year, also having in mind that you almost die twice, but _hey, that’s life experience, right?._

You just couldn’t be happier, having everything you always wanted. You had an exciting job, you lived with your closest friend and her fiancé  **THE** Captain America ( _fucking Anne, marrying her celebrity crush ugh),_ you found a family that loved you and always had your back and you found the love of your life. After your tricky trip to Asgard, you discovered Loki was in love with you even before you met him, and everything just clicked. You were made for eachother, destined to fall in love from the start.

You really loved him so much sometimes it even hurt to look at him, and you knew the feeling was mutual, he accepted all your scars and issues and helped you to see yourself as magnificent as he did, and you did the same in return. The worst part was making Loki see he was not a monster and you didn’t fear his true self, you actually loved it in bed. _Those cold fingers were pure bliss._

 

“What are you thinking about?” Loki looked at you concerned, but his expression changed as soon as he saw your eyes. He knew you too well.

 

“You, of course.” You smiled at him, pure adoration written all over your face. No wonder why all your teammates always left the room when you two were together. He smiled back, placing his arm on your shoulders and pulling you closer to his body.

 

“What a lucky man I am. Evan was so right.” You laughed wholeheartedly but immediately felt that something was wrong. You stopped and looked at Loki, who seemed conflicted.

“Babe, spill it out, please.” He nodded, and opened the mouth, but closed it, not knowing what to say. He tried again.

“I’m- I...I was wondering if you maybe, if you..I-I don’t know how to say this.” He looked at the night sky, and sighed strongly.

“Loki, you’re worrying me. What’s wrong? I’m sorry if I said som-” He cut you off.

“Would you marry me?” He asked you, summoning with his magic a small green velvet box. You covered your mouth in shock, happy tears streaming down your face. He was looking at you with a soft look in his eyes, his love and adoration making you cry even harder. You started nodding frantically, the lump in your throat not letting you speak.

“Is that a yes? Because if you don’t want to, I’m okay with it. I mean, you are the love of my life and your answer won’t change that. So don’t feel pressured or o-” Before he could keep rambling, you cut him off with a kiss. You caught him off guard, so he reacted with a smile. You ran your hands through his black locks, pulling him down so you could deepen the kiss. He placed his hand at the back of your neck and tugged at your hair, his other hand landing on your hip and pulling you close to him. You were sure this was a dream, he was a dream. You pulled away and pressed your forehead to his, your breathing erratic. _This idiot really thinks you don’t want to marry him._

“Loki, you are the best that has ever happened to me, and life without you would have no meaning at all. I want to be with you as long as I am alive, and knowing me, we have to hope that’s a long time.” He chuckled nervously but let you finish your speech. “So yes, I want to marry you.”

He smiled widely, tears of joy in his eyes.

“You really are the best part of me Y/n. I love you with all my heart and soul.”

“And I love you even more.” He opened the small box and put the [ ring ](https://cdn1.thehunt.com/app/public/system/zine_images/9690393/original/2d4547568f0ca88576115d816a4882c0.png)in your finger. The emerald stone shining like Loki’s eyes.

 

You hugged him and kissed him again, thinking that you could never be happier.


	16. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I came up with this a few days ago, and decided to turn it into an epilogue. ENJOY.

After six years of being together and happily married, you thought maybe life would get boring, but it never did. You retired from the avengers a year after the wedding, since Odin’s attack nearly killed you and the physical aftermaths were showing in each mission. Tony, being the mama bear he was, pushed you to leave the team’s missions and just be an office agent, which you appreciated it. Loki still went on missions when magic was required, but it was mostly in and out missions, nothing too physical or dangerous. Thor came and went from home to Asgard, since he was the new king. Anne and Steve moved to Brooklyn and got married, adopted three cats and 2 dogs, since none of them wanted kids.

It was a lazy Sunday autumnal afternoon, you were reading a book in your too worn out pajama, Loki next to you drinking his tea, flipping through the pages of a book as well. You were wrapped in your fluffy blanket, the rain hitting softly the windows of your penthouse. Loki left his empty cup on the table and lay down on the sofa, resting his head on your lap, your fingers running through his hair instinctively and after a few minutes, book totally forgotten, you started braiding strands of raven hair.

“Love, I’m going to fall asleep if you keep doing that.” He said in a sweet, low voice. You leaned in and gave his lips a small peck, making him close his eyes and setting his book on his chest. You smiled and he brought his lips to yours again, to kiss you deeper. After all these years, your thirst for each other didn’t weaken a bit, it even increased.

Loki snapped his fingers and in a blink of an eye you appeared on your bed, his body on top of yours, his lips crushing on yours passionately.

“Daddy?” Loki’s head snapped, followed by you moving to the side of the bed, away from his body. Loki sat down at the edge of the bed nervously, looking at the door.

“Hello there, angel.” Your daughter was standing by the door, rubbing her eyes, recently awake. Suddenly, green light surrounded her and she appeared in Loki’s lap, hugging his neck. You stared at her in awe, looking at your husband in disbelief. He was teaching her magic, but you couldn’t imagine she knew that much already. He looked at you apologetically with a small smile, and you shook your head.

“Ophelia, love, what did Daddy tell you about using magic without help?” Loki said, and she looked at him and smirked. These two were gonna be the death of you one day. She was the vivid image of Loki. She had wavy black hair, green eyes and pale skin, his smirks and mischievousness, but your lips, nose and eyelashes. She was kind, sweet, loving and super intelligent, for being just three and a half years old. She started speaking when she was only two, being able to form almost perfect sentences.

“I’m sorry, Daddy.” Loki patted her head amorously and Ophelia crawled to you, sitting in your lap.

“Hey there, Lia. You slept well?” She nodded and stared at Loki.

“Daddy, can I show Mommy what I learned?” He nodded effusively and she smiled, closing her eyes, trying to focus. You looked at her in awe, while her pale ivory skin turned into a soft shade of blue, marks splattering all over her features, her big green eyes were now deep crimson, full of pride and love, just as yours and Loki’s. She looked as gorgeous as he did in his Jotün form.

“That was impressive, Lia!” You and Loki clapped your hands while she giggled. You started tickling her sides while Loki tickled her tummy, making her squirm and laugh hysterically.

She turned back to her human appearance and disappeared in a green cloud again.

“Lia! Don’t break the rules.” You heard her giggle, knowing she was hidden somewhere near. “I’m going to paint my nails and I was thinking on painting Daddy’s. It would be a shame if you missed that.” You stood up from the bed and went to the bathroom to take the black and dark green nail polish. Lia appeared on the bed, jumping and shouting.

“I wanna paint Daddy’s nails pleeeeease.” Loki laughed and your heart swelled at the sound, always making you fall more in love. You sat down on the bed, followed by Lia and Loki approaching the two of you. Everytime he looked at you, he felt the luckiest man on the universe, not knowing how he got to have everything he ever wished for and more. Lia was his biggest pride and he made sure to show and tell her every time, he didn’t want to make the same mistakes Odin made. Loki wanted Ophelia to be proud of who she was, who she would become and what her heritage was.

Ophelia approached Loki with the black nail polish in her small hands, sitting down in front of him and grabbing his hand. She looked at Loki’s hair and smiled.

“Daddy, can you braid my hair while I paint your nails?” She asked in the most sweet and innocent tone she could manage to use, knowing it would melt Loki and get him to make whatever she wanted to.

“Let’s do something better. You paint Mommy’s nails while I braid your hair, and then you can paint mine. Okay?” She nodded and sat in front of you, giggling joyfully. Loki sat behind her and started braiding her hair, while she painted your nails very delicately.

Ophelia was very curious, so of course she wanted to know where her name came from. One day, you explained her very shortly Hamlet, and she was so invested in it, she asked you to read the whole book. After finishing it, she asked you to read more similar things, so today you had to finish reading Romeo and Juliet.

“ _How often are men happy right before they die! They call it the lightness before death. Oh, how can I call this lightness? Oh, my love! My wife! Death has sucked the honey from your breath, but it has not yet ruined your beauty. You haven’t been conquered. There is still red in your lips and in your cheeks. Death has not yet turned them pale…_ ” Loki’s eyes were fixed on you, full of love and adoration and when you looked at him, your eyes reflected the same feelings.

To say you were scared to tell him you were pregnant was an understatement. You knew he wanted to be a father, but he was scared he would commit the same atrocities as his father did, but you knew him too well, and Frigga too. She raised Loki to be good, caring, gentle, soft and loving, so he was raising your little girl as he was raised.

“ _Eyes, look out for the last time! Arms, make your last embrace! And lips, you are the doors of breath. Seal with a righteous kiss the deal I have made with death forever._ ” After finishing the book, she looked over her shoulder with a big grin.

“Daddy, I want you to teach me how to fake my own death!” You stared at Loki in awe, not believing what Lia just said. She was finishing applying her second coat on Loki’s nails and they looked amazing.

“Hey, flower, that’s not something you should do. See what happens to Romeo and Juliet? Lying is bad, right Loki?”

“Totally right, honey.” Loki patted Lia’s head, and made some daisies appear at the palm of her hands. She stared at them surprised, and smiled.

“Pass them to me one by one, so I can place them in your braids, sweetheart.” She nodded and did what she was told, her smile never fading.

After dinner, Lia wanted to watch a movie, so the three of you laid on the sofa.

“What movie do you wanna see today?” You asked your daughter, fearing her answer. You adored Disney, but you were tired of watching the same movies over and over again.

“I wanna see the vampires one!” Loki frowned, looking at you confused.

“O, we saw all the Hotel Transylvania movies last night, don’t you wanna pick another one?” She shook her head at Loki’s words, and ran to the movie’s shelf. You gasped when you saw what movie she meant.

“I wanna see Mommy’s favorite movie again, I loved it!” Loki just shrugged his shoulders and nodded, knowing that she would fall asleep sooner than later.

Indeed, after fifteen minutes in the movie, she was fast asleep, her head pressed to your chest and her legs on Loki’s lap. You held her in your arms and took her to bed, Loki behind you. You placed her in her bed and tucked her in, holding the little stuffed bat and snake Anne gave her on her last birthday.

Loki casted an illusion on her ceiling, showing her the Asgardian night sky, just as he did on your first date, all those years ago. He closed the door and sighed.

“She really is something special.” He said, the adoration he showed melted you in your place.

“Of course she is, have you ever met her father?” He smirked at your words, and placed his arm on your shoulders, pulling you closer to his body.

“Well, don’t even get me started with the mother.” You elbowed him jokingly and kissed him, feeling that electricity again running through your veins. He deepened the kiss, leaving you dizzy and gasping for air.

“I love you.” You said between gasps, and he leaned in again, his lips on yours one more time.

“Let me show you how much I love you.” He smirked mischievously, snapping his fingers, making you land on your bed. He had that feral look that made you weak on your knees.

“Forever.” You said before his lips devoured yours in a hungry kiss.


End file.
